The questions rolling around in my mind for the last 10 years are being answered. About 6 weeks ago my sister received a package of letters and pictures from our childhood. Some of the pictures… More
Goodbye Defeated Thinking
Spending 5 hours on a one page document and it fails!
What did I do wrong? Why isn’t it working?
Thoughts of defeat fill my mind. Discouraging words escape my mouth. Fear and complaints fill my soul.
After a good walk, God reminds me to Believe!
He says, “Change your words! Speak life! Speak words of encouragement!”
It is amazing how a WALK and CHOOSING to change my words improve my day!
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
Loss and Gain
Facebook memories show my last 7 mile run in January 2020!
Then COVID shuts everything down.
The shutdown slows my running but, Dad dying destroys it.
I remember weight dropping off in 2020 from muscle loss.
Ten years of muscle building, disappear.
My miracle of being able to run begins, Christmas 2011.
It starts with running six blocks, walking the streets, huffing and puffing, turning around, and returning home. Every day it takes an hour to prepare my mind, remembering pain with each step.
In 2022, I start running one mile a day, but my strength isn’t returning! After a year of frustration I remember the lessons God taught me in 2013; I need to run at least 2 miles daily.
In 2013, God teaches me to run 2 miles. Waiting until the painful first half mile is done, He gives me a picture of the gas station, prompting me to run 2 miles even if I need to walk some. He does this for 30 days, a miracle.
Running two miles daily becomes a game changer. It strengthens my core muscles more than anything. (This is a scoliosis thing with my 12 inch rod in my spine.)
Today, running 3 miles feels good! Healing is coming!
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
When Love and Joy Entered
A letter to my daughter, explaining Joy entering my life!
My senior year of high school, Hardee’s opens and I’m hired. This is two years after my body cast comes off. I start to grow as a person.
One day a coworker asked me to tag along with her and her boyfriend. This introduces me to drinking.
That evening I meet a man who becomes my boyfriend.
Driving me home,
He asks, “Will you allow me to kiss you?”
Shocked I reply, “Yes.” Can I really trust him?
Hanging around with my new friends I start wanting to feel more apart of the crowd.
“God,Is it ok to use Your Name in vain so I can fit in with my new friends?”
God stays quiet.
In the fall, I move to the UND. My boyfriend gives me a stuffed dog. This dog becomes my security blanket for the next 10 years. Driving home every weekend I carry my dog.
The Juxtaposition of my life shows up when I am able to try out for the women’s choir but cannot look to see if I succeed! Anxiety keeps me afraid of the music building my whole four years. Eventually I meet a women who hears my name every day because I had made it. This has been my greatest regret that I didn’t push past my fear and find out I was good enough.
Finishing my Freshman year I learn Dad finds a job in Oregon. Do I go or stay?
Seeking counseling, I decide it depends on my boyfriend quitting alcohol. He visits drunk, I have no ability to live on my own so I move West.
No one enjoys moving West. My summer sorting cherries is not fun. Instate tuition takes a year, so I move back to UND. My classes and finances are waiting for me but the one thing I canceled, my dorm room!
The one bright spot from my freshman year was the girl across the hall, we keep in contact. I remember she is in a singing group and I still want to sing.
I ask, “Can I join your singing group with you?”
She say, “Yes!”
We walk together and find about 6 other students wanting to sing. First we have Bible study then we break up into pairs to talk and pray. At the end we all circle, hold hands, and pray in a conversational prayer.
I realize they have something I don’t!
“God, I want what they have!”
God Answers without words, BUT
I AM FILLED WITH LOVE, AND JOY!
This from this point on everything in my life changes.
I make friends!
I learned how to have fun without drinking and hangovers!
I am accepted by people!
I meet my husband and hope for a daughter.
LOVE and JOY FILL ME with a byproduct of HOPE!
God will fill you if you ask just as he fills me daily!
God is Very Good!
Jesus Already Paid
Today, I achieved 100 days of 10,000 steps, a miracle!
It is amazing how God helps me accomplish this.
Today, during choir practice, just holding sheet-music sends my upper back muscles into crippling pain!
Yesterday, I run 3 miles, do lunges, log lifts, plank, and push-ups with no problem.
Today I can’t hold sheet music!
But God Provides!
My life changing lesson: In the year 2000 a new pain in my tailbone develops just as we are about to move.
I tell God, “You need to heal this because we are moving to a home with 2 acres of land and I need to work it.”
God replies, “Go to the radio station and ask them to pray for you.”
I obey!
They pray.
I leave saying, “God, What’s up? I do what You say and nothing happens!”
God answers, “JESUS ALREADY PAID! YOU DON’T HAVE TO!”
As this fills my soul, I remember a lie!
Age 25 a thought, “I suffer pain to pay for not listening to God!”
God takes the tailbone pain away as I received His message,
“Jesus Already Paid!”
Sunshine
Life has been so grey for so long it is wonderful to have sunshine and beautiful sunsets!
God Bless you and your day! In Christ Jesus Name I Pray! Amen!
Lies of the Devil
Fear fills my soul.
“I did it again! I lost another friend! I call but no one picks up.”
I’m trying to believe it is a lie! The fight is difficult!
I tell myself, “She is busy or her phone is out of battery.”
All I did was leave her side to say hi to a new friend.
Dread is all consuming.
Breakthrough arrives:
Pastor Steven Furtick says, “There is NO CONDEMNATION!”
THERE IS THEREFORE NOW NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST JESUS!
Finally it hit. I was feeling condemned. This is not a God thought. God did not plant the thought in my mind! LORD, Help me catch on more quickly.
The devil is real! He plants thoughts to shut me down.
Of course an unanswered phone call is a set up to make me suffer. Evil forces we cannot see enjoy messing with God’s people to derail God’s plans.
Isn’t it wonderful to have friends that don’t leave at a drop of a hat.
GOD IS SO GOOD!
Running in the Cold
Many churches call a fast in January to start the year connecting with Holy Spirit.
I have fasted food 24 hours, but the thought of a whole week is beyond me at this time.
Would I have the strength to run without food for more than one day? Running two miles every day is priority.
Fasting usually deals with leaving something out so giving up my comfort works as I continue to run daily in negative temperatures.
It is amazing how creative a person can be to stay warm in these frigid temperatures.
The coldest night was -9 and a few days of running were with the windchill at -20, too cold to run the dogs the whole two miles.
Sam ran one mile and said, “Home please!”
Charlie said, “One block please, only one block!”
I continued running with God discussing this craziness, but I finish!
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
New Year 2024
Making a New Year resolution has never worked for me.
But, Remembering God’s new grace each morning brings Hope.
Today, I am on day 67 of 10,000 steps. Running has been a hit or miss, but things changed December 21.
I now have 23 days of running consecutively.
How did it switch?
In December God reminded me:
- When I run consecutive days in a row I stand taller, feeling strength in my core.
- If I run weight comes off but, if I don’t run weight grows.
- In 2012, God prompts me daily to run 2 miles for 30 days. Even if I walk some, run 2 miles.
Running two miles daily becomes my new goal.
A few days after starting, my body struggles. Exhaustion rules and my run consists of run 5-10 steps, walk 4-5 steps, repeat. Determination prevails and I make my two mile run.
Success comes with perseverance, at the end of a two mile walk I notice I am looking straight ahead!
Most of my life I have looked down.
It dawns on me that my back muscles have gained enough strength to hold my head up with ease.
The reason I need to run has to do with scoliosis and the foot long rod attached to my spine. My core muscles don’t gain strength in daily movement. I need to lift my legs higher than walking to engage the core muscles.
To keep this strength I know I need to run daily!
GOD IS SO GOOD!
Hello Body
We would like to introduce ourselves;
Body, we are the nerves that have recently made contact with your spinal cord.
Being cut off from the spine in 1976, was cruel. Life has been boring just hanging around dormant for the last 40 years. We have been carried around not able to help out, wondering if we would ever be usefull again.
What a surprise to find ourselves awake in 2011. It was slow at first. The beginning was just a knowledge that we exist as body stood to her feet and walked. She felt us!
The feeling started to grow and the muscles became involved enough to alert the body’s doctor.
Doctor said, “I’m glad you started to exercise.”
Body said, “I didn’t do anything different.”
Alarm sounds, Doctor wants to know about the muscle growth. She ponders this for a year and decides to do the intake, next year.
Doctor asked, “What makes the difference in your muscles if your exercise is the same?”
Body says, “Jesus answered the request for nerves to be connected.”
We nerves have been working and growing and sometimes breeding complaint.
A funny period we nerves all itch.
Today growth seems to cause pain.
Body we want to know, “Are we nerves worth the constant pain?”
Nerves provide the ability to run, lift arms, sit up, type, and lift head?
“Does the ability to move make pain acceptable?”
Body says, “Yes! Body is Thankful for pain.”
God is Good!
Listening to God
Learning how to respond to thoughts and act on them.
Today, I have the thought of going for a two mile walk after waking, before eating. Bart is pleased to join me in the daylight.
It becomes the most pleasant walk in a long time. We have no need to change directions to bypass dogs or people. An unusual December day blesses us with a warm 40 degrees and sunshine!
Later in the evening Bart suggests, “We should walk to get our 10,000 steps before we relax for the evening.”
As we walk Bart says, “Don’t worry, that’s just my watch saying 10,000 steps!”
I laugh, “My Fitbit is also alerting me to my 10,000 steps this exact moment!”
Five minutes later we both happen to look the same direction as a meteor flashes through the sky.
So tell me, is this how God sets things up?
Things fall into place and Peace fills the space?
Feeling Blessed on December 14, 2023.