Archive | June 2017

New and Old Lessons Learned

First lesson: Save, Save, Save! I had the unwise thought that once I had posted something, I could add to it without saving it. Surprise! I was wrong.

I rewrote my last post after publishing it, reasoning since it was published I didn’t need to save it again; thinking everything on the internet last forever then BOOM, it disappeared. I know I have not saved a change on a post like this before; how many changes have I  made that didn’t stay? I would not have known this except, this time I watched it happen.

It reminds me of a time when my daughter was 3 years old, we took in a baby to watch while her mother was at work.  This baby came over with the flu one day; we washed hands constantly and as my hands grew raw from all the washing, I wondered if the antibacterial hand sanitizer kept working after I put it on, I took the chance and didn’t wash again after blowing her nose, guess what? We caught the flu.

SECOND LESSON: Take every thought captive and only keep the Good thoughts!  Starting a new class in Ancient Greek, fear and panic overcame me at the end of the first class; I wanted to push the class off to the future, maybe next fall. Possibly, I will be ready for it at that time. Finally I said, “NO Fear allowed!” I picked myself up, went out the door, and changed my  thoughts to good possible thoughts like moving my asparagus.

I avoided Greek for a few days until it got close to the next class, then I started to work at it. Someone told me it would be easier than Hebrew. IT Sure didn’t feel like it! I will admit by my second class I could guess at some of the words because they were close enough to the English to make sense; during the second  class they introduced the cursive letters and I really struggled because somehow that was suppose to be easy to understand and read.

SURPRISE! Today there were only 2 classmates which forced me learn! I painfully sounded out every letter, sometimes quickly looking up what the letters are in the middle of a word and figure out how to mouth it all together.  My teacher could see one particular letter that troubled me; it is amazing how long an hour can take when every second my brain is working on overdrive. Punting, I force the sounds out of my mouth that were not flowing easily. It is embarrassing sounding so mechanical when the other student breezes through the reading like he knows this already.

THIRD LESSON: God is Good and The Devil works hard to take my mind off of Good things by suggesting thoughts that are wrong, hard, or out of my control, to bring me down. The Devil is a lier and wants me to feel condemned and helpless.

I am learning to catch my thoughts faster, keep thinking on Good God thoughts: I am Loved, I am Righteous in Jesus, I am a Saint, I am filled With Holy Spirit and The Grace of God Covers All my mistakes! Amen! I AM STRONG, I AM ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME AND MAKES ME A WALKING MIRACLE! JESUS IS TRANSFORMING ME AND WON’T FINISH UNTIL HE IS DONE! I am a work in progress.

 

God Bless Each and Everyone, who reads my posts, with Good things!

Pictures

I have learned that it is normal for people to see pictures in their head when they have a thought, or hear a word, for example, dog. Most people will see a dog in their mind. My mind sees nothing but a swirl of colors or shades of grey, if I try very hard, there is possibility of a dog appearing in my mind, but I see it as well with my eyes open as closed. IT is somewhere in my head, I don’t know what is normal.

Revelation, this is how people see words to know how to spell isn’t it? I have heard people spelling a word in their head; my mind needs to actually start to write them and try them out to see if it is the correct word or spelling of a word. It would be nice to see words in my mind without having to put them on the paper. I struggled with the word ‘sure‘ until  my daughter was 7 or 8 years old; she was reading to me and didn’t know how to pronounce the word, as I told her the pronunciation it helped me realize why I struggled to write it.  In the process of writing a note to someone I would start to write ‘sure’ as it sounds, shur and knowing it had an e on the end it would look like shure; I knew they both were wrong but couldn’t understand how it was suppose to be spelled so a different word had to be chosen.

About 10 years ago, God Blessed me, as my middle school daughter was trying to get away with using the internet in her room; I asked God to show me if she was lying, HE DID! He showed me the face my daughter has when she lies; she was wearing it at that moment! It was exciting to Know, God cared enough to help me; I didn’t want to punish my daughter unless, she really was lying.

My councilor told me I had shut mine mind off from seeing pictures in my mind; hiding the bad pictures I was seeing, sometime in my childhood. I have an idea when it was: The moment I knew my mom was not joining us as we moved, Dad said Mom would join us at the gas station. We were at the gas station and she was no where to be found. Sitting in the back of the station-wagon all the colors in my sight started to swirl as they do in the cartoons; my life changed at that moment, age 7.

I was given a good example to help me understand why: while I was running this week, someone in a vehicle called out and as my head turned to see who was calling and my eyes saw them hold a mask out of the window on a stick. That picture has been difficult to get out of my mind.

The book “Every Breath We Take” from Terry Wardle asks people to Relax, Breath calmly, and invite Holy Spirit to sanctify my imagination; I tried this and was Blessed with a memory of myself as a child about 6 years old, sitting on the floor criss cross applesauce and my arms are crossed in front of me, bursting out laughing! I am playing something with someone but it is such a Blessing to have a GOOD MEMORY from my childhood.

God is Going to Teach me how  to have my Memories return and see pictures in my mind again. Since He has been Healing my Mind and Body He has been showing my mind how to build pictures as I go to bed and clothes my eyes; it is like someone using a pencil and quickly sketching a scene and my mind watches as it becomes active. It is rather exciting!