This is often a very subtle but sometimes very overt interaction that happens everyday in this world. I found myself doing it today. It may lead to taking offense because you don’t like how someone acts or reacts. Offense leads to bitterness and unforgiveness.
Love forgives what is wrong and covers! Love tries to understand and feel where the other person is coming from.
This week I lost sleep when I woke realizing my mom and sister want to blame me for my lack of ability to feel love as a child.
The Good that has come from this interaction opened my eyes to the fact that my granma’s house was my “safe place”! I have never used words of “love”, always “safe place”.
I now understand I started to feel Love when God entered my life at age 19. The people who I was around when God entered into my life were people from Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship. I have caused hurt to people because I made a post on Facebook about, “the first people to love me”. I should have been more perfectly correct and written, “the people from whom I first felt love”.
IT WAS NOT ME who kidnapped me away from my mom. It was not me who added new people to the family. IT was not me who decided at age 7 to try sex with a teenage son. It was not me who brought me to a Satanic ritual.
IT WAS ME who protected myself by putting a wall up. I tried to open it to my mom once and she reacted badly. I closed myself back up and trusted no one. I have been learning to trust again BECAUSE THE LOVE OF GOD HAS BEEN FILLING ME over the last 34 years.
Learning to Understand!
God is Good!