The Joy of Christmas

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Fear thoughts shut down my day!

Headache grows.

Hiding on the couch with my eyes shut, I hold my head!

All of a sudden, POUNDING fills the house.

Bart rises to see about the noise.

“Justine, come and see!”

“What reason could possibly be good enough to move?”

Standing back, Bart gives me a full view.

thirty children overfill my doorway!

Dressed in flashing Christmas lights they

Proudly Sing,

“Jingle Bells” and “Merry Christmas!”

A SMILE GROWS as JOY FILLS MY SPIRIT! 

Bonus the headache fades away!

THANK YOU JESUS for returning  JOY to my day!

GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

Joy

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Tonight 11/10/23:

Dinner with a group of friends!

After dinner we talk with no agenda for hours.

Sitting at the table with the conversation including me feels strange but good! LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE replace judgement.

Today, I speak many God stories. They question and receive my stories.

I have been included into their lives.

Forty years ago in College, I found  Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship and acceptance. Before that I was eight years old at my gramma’s house on the farm, watching aunts and uncles discussing life with grandparents.

What differs between these examples and the rest of my life?

The yearly visit with parents includes the relaxing family time playing cards. But the words coming at me are not peaceful.

Changing the subject I say, “Do you know what God did today?”

I hear, “Don’t talk politics!”

On 5/16/10, God directs us to a beautiful church where I find acceptance and safety.

Life collects battle wounds until God brings people who know LOVE! In this safe place,  open wounds become healed scars.

God is using this church to transform me:

PEACE and JOY replace anxiety.

God Is Good! He will heal anyone who asks and follows His directions! So Ask for Healing It is Good! Amen!

Walking by Faith

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This week,my husband took a job he is unsure about.

Bart, “I’ve been hired to work in a warehouse! Not sure I’m physically able. HR called to calm my fears. Orientation starts Tuesday.”

Justine, “Trust God! He will give you strength and ability beyond what you are able. Watch and be amazed!”

Bart, “Do you know where my social security card is? I have searched in wallets, drawers, pockets, and the safe with no success.  We will see if they take what I have.”

After Orientation

Bart announces, “God must want me to work there! When I opened up my birth certificate the Social Security card popped out! I looked there more than once! But God put it there when I needed it!”

Justine, “BUT GOD! My favorite words!”

GOD WILL PROVIDE! I AM EXCITED TO SEE HOW HE PROVIDES!

Protection

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I go for a run just after 8:00 P.M.. It is dark but not late.

First I run to the cemetery and have a thought, “Stay away from the back.”

I tell myself, “Don’t let fear rule.”

Sam stops short and will not move.

Maybe I should listen to the thought and take the short rout.

Sam agrees and runs with me.

Approaching the park from the North, I notice a vehicle driving very slowly towards the park from the East. Slowing down, I watch and check if it is a police vehicle. It is white.

IT is  NOT police.

Running past the vehicle, I stop for Sam and clean up.

I loose track of the white vehicle and take off running my normal route to the gas station.

Approaching the turn in the road, I realize that I have heard a vehicle coming up behind for a while.

I pull Sam to the sidewalk and watch a white vehicle drive past me very slowly. They drive toward the gas station.

Foolishly, I start to run behind them until. . . .

Wisdom speaks up and says, “Turn around and go home.”

Running towards home I think, “Maybe I should call my husband.”

Instead I ask, “God, Send Your Angels to keep me safe and anyone out tonight!”

Later at home I hear,

“SAY THANK YOU!”

“I DID KEEP YOU SAFE” 

Wisdom suggests I run earlier.

GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

Fear Uncovered

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In this season of our lives we are looking for ways to pay the bills.

One day recently I tried on the thought of Uber driving.

FEAR!

NOT SAFE!

Tears fall.

TERROR FILLS MY SOUL.

Where did that come from?

I put off healing.

It will be painful.

Quickly I change my thoughts to save the day.

I mention it to a couple of people.

Fear is close to the surface.

Tears escape my eyes.

Healing is needed.

It takes time and energy.

God is Good!

He will take me through this at the appropriate time.

Thank You Jesus! Amen!

Running and Weight Lifting

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Today, September 20, 2023, I am returning to the gift God gave me 12 years ago.

In 2011, God gave me a miracle. HE gave me new bone in my spine, setting me free of 28 years of constant pain. Then He started growing nerves in my abdominal and back muscles. This gave me the ability to grow muscle in my core. These muscles give me the ability to lift my legs and run. Something I have always wanted to do.

Two years later we hand our tree cut down and I chose a log to lift and use doing lunges. I continued running longer distances and using the log doing lunges with the log extended above my head to build muscles.

This continued until we started driving West 2-3 times a year for family emergencies. But what really threw a wrench into everything is my husband needing surgery and taking care of him, then 2020 happened.

I have been trying to get back to running for the last few years, but not able to sustain it for one reason or another.

God has been saying, “Get back to your running and weight lifting.”

I told myself a lie that I didn’t need to run because I am working in the flower garden and walking.

GOD KNOWS BEST: My body started to ache and my posture was leaning more forward because I only walked. I need to run and lift weights.

The difference of weight lifting and running daily is already showing up in my posture and amount of pain after just a week. I need to make it priority one.

GOD IS SO GOOD. If I would just listen and obey.

Practice Repeat

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With 5 hours sleep I tried to rise up. It didn’t work. My body refused to move!

Back to bed, I woke one hour later, refreshed and ready to move.

A bit sore, I decided to do push-ups and a plank again thinking, “the hair of the dog that bit you.”

It helped!

Not much later I decided to walk 2 mile early because of the chance of rain.

In the evening after Choir practice I decided to run. It was a bit wet but made 3 miles at an okay pace. Afterward, I decided to do lunges and log lifts again.

I NEED TO DECIDE TO RUN DAILY! And DO IT!

Maybe I will get back to 5 miles a day and into the clothes I wore a few years ago.

The Bonus will be Strength to do other things.

To be truthful, my husband would not say, “I decided to do anything.”

I do debate before I decide to go run!

God is So Very Good! LORD PLEASE HELP ME RUN DAILY!

And Again

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I believe it was a week ago when God reminded me about weight lifting and running to keep me strong.

This week my core muscles and my buttocks have been in great pain.  I attributed it to typing the story last Friday. It made sitting still in church difficult.

It took a few days of rest before I could walk any distance after typing.

Yesterday walking returned with a little run.

Today, God drops thoughts of a plank and lunges while I walk. Was it a whole 7 days ago I last did weight lifting?

Picking up my log I do 50 lunges as soon as I dropped off the dogs. Inside I drop to the floor and do a 2 minute plank with 15 Push-ups.

While exercising I feel pain leave!

How many of us sit in pain and keep taking pain medicine waiting for the pain to leave when maybe, just maybe, moving our muscles might be the answer to stopping pain.

GOD IS VERY GOOD. He created our bodies to function best when we move. It is not just pain that is mitigated but also moving those intestines that need help so often staying regular. Walking and running definitely help but we must not forget weight lifting.

Remember to Be Thankful for the ability to move.

God Is So Very Good.

Thankful For Healing

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During a walk with my husband, I stop to talk with a women walking alone.

In the past, Sam would bark making talk difficult. This day Sam stays quiet so I know it is a God moment.

In the conversation I mention, “God healing nerves and bone but leaving scoliosis.”

She asked, “Can you lift your hands? Wash your face? Brush your hair?”

I lifted my one free hand above my hand as I do when I Praise God!

She felt inspired by the smile and the Joy that emanating from me.

Pondering her words, I remember in my 40’s experiencing some difficulty lifting my hands and extending them out.

God has given me nerves and the ability to grow muscle in my 50’s to be able to lift my hands high!

This gives me desire to Praise God all the more!

 

Hidden Memories Rise

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A neighbor’s friends comes over to tell me, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with…”

My emotions flip into a tailspin. Writhing in pain from the thoughts attacking my mind,    “I’m going to loose all my neighborhood friends!”

My reaction is way out of proportion to the situation!

 “God, show me where this is coming from!”

HE pulls up this memory.

The summer of 1983, I find friends in a college group of the church I attend.  One weekend, the college group drives to Canada for a camping trip: the women drive automobiles, the men are on motorcycles.

During this trip I am included and accepted. The trip is full of fun and joy! We decide to tour the park on bikes.

CRASH!

The motorcycle slides under a station wagon. A body collides with the front end before landing in the field.

The accident itself is not the cause of the trouble.

The fact my father hires a lawyer to sue for the insurance money is.

The youth pastor teaches, “We don’t believe in insurance.“

I am called into his office. Paralyzed with fear, I listen and leave.

My friends stay away like I am poisonous fruit.

The Head Pastor asks an inappropriate question in the middle of a crowd, and promptly tells me, “I am not able to marry you.”

I ride my bicycle back to the dorm in tears, alone!

I push forward focusing on my senior classes, the wedding, and the surgery to return my insides to their proper place.

Not dealing with the pain, leaves an open wound waiting to to bleed over anyone around.

I have not had many friends anytime in my life.

But God is changing things, I am building friendships!

I realize now, the fear of possibly loosing my new friends has kept me bound, not able to do my normal joyful tasks.

God knew it is time to heal the the open wound. He allowed me to feel the pain as he ripped off the bandage filled with lies, allowing the wound to heal.

This plant started itself and continued growing all summer. I watched as it covered the sidewalk, and I felt helpless to change it.

 Today, I notice a FREEDOM in my soul!

I dispose of the plant blocking entrance to my home.

GOD IS GOOD!