The Question

I asked God as I fell asleep: Why do I need to have something on to listen to, to fall asleep?

God woke me after 3 1/2 hours of sleep and showed me a video in my mind of the night my father kidnapped me and my brother and sister from my mom. Dad dropped Mom off at the hairdresser telling her to get all done up nice.  Mom thought things might be getting better, no one came to pick her up: the worst day of her life was the beginning of the worst year of my life.

That first night away from my mom was spent at a friend of Dad’s who was not happy with what he was doing.  I was put to bed with the record of “Peter and the Wolf” and “The Nutcracker” which were suppose to cover the yelling that was going on in the other room.

Still today, I need something to think about and listen to keep the bad thoughts and dreams away; these days I put on a podcast from either Joyce Meyer, Joseph Prince, or Ken Copeland.  Many days I fall asleep and and sleep all night but then there are days that I will fall asleep hearing the voice talking and wake up when it quits.  This bothers my husband because he would like it quiet.

Bart is happy that it is podcast because they move from one to another; when I used to put on a CD or a cassette tape, I would flip it over or hit play again and again so it is the same thing played over and over again.  I am not listening to what they are saying unless I am just awake; I need to hear them talking to sleep. On the days I am awake until 3 or 5 AM, I am learning things I need to know about God.  I don’t want to listen to something that is not God filled because I don’t need to add to my bad thoughts or memories coming back in my dreams.

I have been healed enough to be able to fall asleep in the quiet if the power is out, but it is not my normal.

New Surprises

Today is a rest day.  I have spent much of today sleeping or reading the book, “The Faith Club”; I find I have needed to eat my low-fat Ruffles chips to relax my intestines.

Sleeping until 10 am, Charlie said he needed to go out, I fed both dogs and cat returning to bed because more sleep was needed. My phone beeped with a text suggesting I could meet friends at noon;  feeling no get-up-and-go so I stayed in bed until almost 1 pm.

The one thing that brings me peace at this point is watching “Bones”! I have started to watch with the cc captions, pausing to look up the words I don’t know. Learning much, I am so thankful for the ability to look up words on my phone, flunking spelling every year except 6th grade when my teacher understood my struggle and helped me succeed.

Looking up words has always been a struggle not understanding how to tell what sound each letter make especially vowels. Part of this could have come from my moving across the country every 6 months as a kid with the change in how people pronounce letters changes with each state.

God is Good! God Bless everyone who reads this!

I heard the alarm go off at 8, I can sleep some more. AT  8:30 I hit snooze:  once, twice, and three times before the the 9 am alarm went off; hitting the snooze again, I started crying out to Jesus, “Please help!”

Somewhere around 9:10-15 I turned enough to roll out of bed like jello rolls down a hill. My feet found their spot on the ground and my body rolled up as well as it can, to stand with hands RAISED IN PRAISE TO GOD FOR THE ABILITY TO GET UP! I put on my clothes, did my oil pulling, grabbed the offering and walked out the door with my lemon water; maybe I washed my face and put a comb through my hair; it has been known to be forgotten when in a hurry.

Starting my car to warm it just a bit, I dropped one load into the car and ran back into the house to make sure  everything was good and praying to make it on time!  Driving down the street, praying for protection, that God send His angels to keep us safe and for all my family and stuff like the house and animals and cars to be protected in the Blood of Jesus! Arriving with many other cars, we pulled into the parking lot on time; I was so tired my feet just walked to my normal spot near the front, without stopping to talk to anyone! Finding some 5 hour energy in my purse I took a bit to help me stay awake.

Praising God during the service, tears rolling down my face, I was very Thankful God helped me crawl out of bed and I didn’t give in to my body or sleep that tried to keep me home. Leaving the sanctuary, I was feeling all alone, no noticed me or said anything as I slowly walked to the bathroom. SURPRISE, NO ONE was in there; telling God, “I feel all alone, but that is OK, I still have YOU!

A woman walked in as I was heading to the door, and asking how I was.  Not remembering what my response was; we ended up talking for 10 minutes and I believe we will become friends. She is on the Praise Team and is thankful for my Praising of God. This is the second time this Winter I have felt all alone, wanting a friend, and God put someone into my life. God IS Very Good.

Leaving church with a pair of jeans in need of exchange, I stopped at Kohl’s and found the perfect pair of pants I had been looking for, the skinny jeans! Yeah! There was only one pair and its size didn’t match the rest of the pants, it is 30×32 size; I didn’t really know if it would fit but I took that and a size 6 into the dressing room, they both fit wonderfully well! I brought both to the checkout in case I didn’t get to keep my discount as I exchange my jeans.

Last Wednesday, stopping at Kohl’s after a meeting, an hour before closing, I was looking and looking for my desire, not finding it; a pair of jeans in hand I headed to check out as they call for everyone to head to a register to check out with the next best thing to use my free $5 coupon and my $10 Yes2rewards.

Trying to be happy, all I saw was baggy jeans; what fit well last spring and fall have gotten baggy I was not happy. Hoping and praying things would be better at the other store Hoping God had my answer!  Successful in the exchange, I did have to pay a bit more because they were a little more expensive.

I put it on my Kohl’s  card to get the benefit of coupons in the future and paid cash to have $0 balance! We are going to get out of debt and stay out. On the way home, I thought of stopping to get some donuts but I was out of money! That is the way to live God’s way!


New Revelations


Today I woke to my alarm, confused what it was; thinking another hour or more of sleep was available, God popped the time I need to leave into my head; I bet it was God prompting me to put 8 am alarm on because I didn’t want to get up that earl.

Realizing the time to leave was 10:30 not 11:30 I quickly hopped out of bed, put on my running clothes and out the door with Sam then changing dogs in the middle picking up Charlie; I was actually too warm for my short 1.5 mile run with 5 layers to protect me from the 18 degrees !

I got everything done and out the door to my appointment to help a friend. I had no idea what I was walking into, she said she needed help; I heard women’s meeting come volunteer and help me with the women. What I found was a friend trying to put together letters to make her women’s meeting happen.

I don’t know if we are talking the same language; she told me not to say “Set Free” but say “Empower”, I guess she doesn’t understand that I am all about being “set free” and being “empowered” doesn’t do anything until you are set free!

God Bless each of you as WE in the USA Change our clocks tonight and loose and hour of sleep; grumpy people the next few days.


God is so Good! I didn’t sleep until 5:30 AM but I did sleep until noon; I was pleasantly pleased  to get up, raise my arms in Praise and go on my way like I had a normal day yesterday. I did sit more today; probably around what my normal busy day is. I am in AWE of All the Changes God is making in me.

I am on my way to bed; tomorrow I am going to try a new thing, helping a friend with her woman’s group; I will see what help I can do to help set these women free!

God Bless each and every one of you!


Today I thought I was going to do laundry and ironing to clean up all the clothes and get them under control; it ended up being a day taking my bed apart: flipping and turning the mattress; vacuuming all the dog hair from under the bed, and oiling the teak wood to keep it in good condition. I ended up moving my bed a foot to the left because I realized I am the one who wants the cold air and I am not near the window; Bart gets cold because he has been under the window completely!

This day has been a miracle because I didn’t stop to watch tv; I did have it on and listen as I cleaned, but I didn’t sit and enjoy a break.  The break I got was to run my 3.5 miles and God put the idea in my mind to do log lifts to straighten my back. It does help, especially in the summer doing yard work; today it lead to 70 lunges and 30 curls of my log.

It is amazing how my body is changing.  I am not limping or struggling at all; I am even wondering if I should try a plank and pushups or if I should just go to bed.  God is changing me into a new wonderful person.  I did ask God to show me how to clean my house 5 years ago after He healed my body; I had spent 28 years in pain so I could not do much most days, I needed help learning how to change from sitting all the time to  moving all the time! I am excited to see what I am able to do tomorrow. God is Very Good!



It is not a day for running!

I did take a walk after 11 PM when I realized I was close to getting 10,000 steps and 5 miles; I actually walked 1.3 miles and after arriving back home I saw my goal for 5 miles was still short .4  miles  so I went back out and succeed in achieving this goal just minutes before it turned 12 midnight!

Earlier in the day, I took Sam and Charlie out back to play frisbee; most of the time Charlie was smelling around all his corners while Sam spent most of his time running after the frisbee, all of a sudden Charlie decided to go after the frisbee and take off with it!

Great fun!



I met an old friend today. We haven’t seen each other since before all of my healing. I hope and pray She is healed of the afflictions attacking her body.

Today was a good day; I ran my first mile at 11:53 mm! This is a Good thing!

God Bless

A Week of Growth


Follow God: don’t listen to the devil! Yesterday as I was running the devil told me to take a day off to rest; it sounds like something God would say, the problem was it was said as I was running and feeling weak.  God would have told me before, Satan tells you after and puts a twist into the Word of God to fool you.

I had rested Tuesday and Wednesday, I didn’t need to take a week off to rest; that would lead to getting weaker. Talking with Bart helped me to see I need to keep going; I went back out and ran a 12mm! Pretty good for a weak person.

Today I have run 6 cold miles out in the country; done a few loads of laundry; and made soup from chicken bones. God has given me strength and courage to keep going even when it hurts some.

Listening to God I ran 6 miles instead of 4 miles; finished 2 loads of clothes instead of leaving them in the washer to hopefully get before they mold; make soup instead of just putting meaty broth in the frig, we will have soup to eat tomorrow and all week.

If I had listened to the devil I would have done none of it.  God IS Good!!!


Tonight I saw the movie, “The Shack”.  I remember reading the book years ago and knowing it was true/real; as I watched the movie I knew that God had taken me through this process and I have come out the other side a more Wonderful Person: set free from sin and death to walk in His Righteousness and LOVE!

One of the women I was with was mentioning there was no repentance in the  movie; I pointed out that Repentance is turning from following yourself to Following God; God is drawing each of us with His LOVE!!!



Sam woke me today because he wanted to play; I ended up getting up but my Right back muscle didn’t want to be used, I should come up with a name for these muscles like people name cars or such things. These muscles didn’t want to be used; I walked very straight with slow steps, not wanting to lean forward at all.

My thought is the digging up a small section of the asparagus used my back muscles so totally that it wiped me out for the week.  I made Bible Study on Tuesday morning but could not get myself together to go to my meeting in the evening; I didn’t even run.  Wednesday afternoon I could have gone to the local book club but I had no get up and go; I did run fairly well and hurried on to Jerry’s class but I was using all I had to sit through the class.

Today, as I ran, the second mile with Sam was a slug-fest; my whole back didn’t want to be used, I ran a few yard and walk some and run a bit more and walk some, it felt like mile 11 in a 10 mile run. When I dropped Sam off I sat for a few moments and drank some water before taking Charlie; that helped, I ran a slow normal.




The week of summer in February


I woke with the intention of running first thing: success! I got out of bed and did my coconut pulling while I was getting dressed to run; it took longer today because the temperature had dropped to 25 degrees and 19 MPH winds! I put on layer after layer and never felt hot. I only drank a little of my lemon water before I left because it was too warm and I didn’t want to put it off.

Running went well; my first two miles were around 15 mm, I start my time in the house and leash up the dog and walk across the street so that takes time; a minute or two.  It was VERY hard to run! I stopped a few time to take a few steps walking because  my muscles were crying out; I don’t want to help you breath or hold you up or help you lift your legs.

Later in the day I made salmon and salad for dinner; I was sitting there eating and having trouble, somehow when the muscles around my ribs and stomach hurt it is very hard to eat; it is almost like the muscles that move the food do not want to work. I had this thought to take some 5 hour energy, it took a while to decide to act; when I did get up and open an new bottle, it was only minutes later that all my pain left and I was able to finish eating. I don’t really know why But I Do believe God has lead me to this vitamin drink; it has helped God change my life.

The one thing I have decided is I am experiencing many nerves coming online big time! Two days rest did not help with the pain. God is making me stronger. He is getting me ready for something.

God is GREAT!!! God is Good!


This was a day of rest; I kept getting moving every hour to get my 250 steps on my fitbit: it is all I did! This day became a day of rest and “Bones”! I succeeded in all 9 hours of moving and nothing else; I thought my normal body would get full of energy since I really rested yesterday: It didn’t happen! I was in pain all day and it never quit, even after a nap.


Yesterday I went to the vet, I had been thinking of going to another vet, but I realized it has much more to do with never knowing which person was going to step into the room and be the vet.  I thought I could ask to see the same person at this place; this visit I met a new vet who told me more than I got from any vet that I have ever seen: I asked if I could use him only.

Standing at the check out spot, the clerk I remember from all the years at this vet, saw me; she put down her coat, and waited on me. She remembers me as the person who was in constant pain, limping, and not understanding what everyone knows. I did ask the question I have been wondering about, licenses; I have heard people ask if we needed one and I wasn’t really understanding what they were asking.

I did get dog license for both dogs; as she was filling out the information I was talking about how I am going to get my house clean this year, her comment was we all want to but never really do it.  That lead into my telling how Bart and I carried every Readers Digest with us like they were books; to every state we moved we carried them as cherished goods. That lead into how God gave me 5 new bones and new nerves and How He healed me of my past.  I gave her my blog site; maybe she will look at it and find this note about her.  She is a sweet wonderful woman who always treated me with Respect and Grace. God Bless her.

She did say I needed to attach them to the dog collars and it should be easy to sew a few stitches to attach them; I still need to do this but at least I have purchased them.  I will let you know when I attach them.God Bless you who read this.


I heard the most beautiful comment tonight; a new friend told me she thought when I was teaching class last Wednesday, that I was a professional!  Isn’t that a Most Wonderful Compliment? God is so Good!


It is the end of the day and I have just realized it is the 21st; I woke to make breakfast for Bart this morning and was headed back to bed until Bart helped me understand it was Tuesday, not Monday. When Bart has Monday off it messes with me.

As Bible Study started, the pain of lifting the logs combined with the 11 mile run really hit my whole back as I sat down for class. I did take pain medicine and it helped by 9:30. Lunch went well and grocery shopping went well; at home I lay down and the dogs lay with me for 2short naps, waking up to achieve the 250 steps each hour for Fitbit.

My body was finally ready to run around 6 PM and I was able to run the first mile without stopping  at a rate of 12:19mm: I did stop and take some beautiful pictures of the sunset! At home I obeyed God and did 70 lunges, 30 lifts and curls with the log; then I did a 3 minute plank, 30 push-ups and, only 4 pull-ups.


Today is President’s day and Bart has the day off; we took the dogs to Celery Flats to walk Sam and Charlie, we walked 4 miles! I say thank you to Fitbit who has given Bart what he needed to push himself and start getting into shape. Last year and the  few years before Bart would be complaining shortly after one mile.

I find myself getting into trouble with Bart; I seem to step on his toes, being a mother to my husband is not a good thing.  I need to let him be a man and have some pride. I messed up and lifted a log that he couldn’t lift yesterday; I suggested he do some weight lifting while it was snowing and cold, he didn’t think he needed to do more than walk. I need to be strong and not out-lift my husband. Lord Help!

I need to do something good for him and get up in the morning like I have for years but lately I have been up at night and sleeping in the morning; I have made his lunch and had food to warm for breakfast but seeing me is probably a much better morning.  God Help me be better and do better!

The week of Valentine


Good Evening, I just finished with my Hebrew class that pulls out the important stuff in the Hebrew language that doesn’t get translated; we were learning how Joseph was so gracious with his brothers and watching and testing to see if they had changed from their old way.  Last week we found out that this is the first place that forgiveness is mentioned in the Bible. IT is a wonderful story of Grace and Redemption.

I did find out today that God is using my running to strengthen my back; I was walking up stairs and my back muscles around my ribs were crying out that they were tired and didn’t want to be worked anymore.



Last night, in the middle of the night, when I was awake for hours;  God was teaching me many things about how the only WORK we are to do as Christians is to BELIEVE and Receive/Take from The Father! He did show me how Working out our Salvation is grounded in Believing. When I look at Deuteronomy 30: 15-16,  God says, I set before you Life and Death: Choose! I even give you the answer: Choose Life!

Every moment of every day is a Choice between Life and Death so When you Choose Life and God’s Ways you are walking in Faith and Believing God is Who He says He Is! The way He wants you to Change is to Ask Him and Listen and Watch for Him to answer; He will often give you the opportunity to Believe Him and Act, Do what He gives you to do: Change you More and More into His image.

Today, I followed Him as I realized He wanted me to go run; I figured it would be the 6  miles He has started to push me to, I was mistaken. He wanted me to run 11 miles! I followed!

God is Good!


Today my body was still needing rest; I got up early and it took until 3 to get enough God to go running.

My day gained energy after that and 8 PM I drove with Sam to the local Khol’s and picked up a fitbit for Bart to replace the broken one. I needed help to unlock the devices and find out the prices.  I decided on my choice and was ready to pick it up and go but they didn’t have a black band; they needed to find one in storage. While we waited I talked to the lady who was there about how it has been such a good thing to get Bart out from behind the computer.  I then started to tell her how God has been healing my body and that He still wants to bring healing to people today.  God Bless her and give her desire to find Jesus!


Today has been a day of rest except for a lunch meeting with a good friend. I believe it was one of those days I succeeded in being a good friend. It was a day I listened to God and asked the question about my friend and how she is doing, instead of talking about my exciting news. I do believe I took another step into adulthood. God is Very Good.

We did find Grace, or cat took a bite of Bart’s fitbit because of the flashing green lights and broke it.  We are being truthful to not using credit again.  I am going to take money out of our food budget and buy him another fitbit; it helps Bart get excited about getting healthy! We are getting out of debt; following God and His way of doing things which is opposite of the World and it’s way. God is Very Good.


Today started slow; even my fitbit didn’t think I was moving after I was up for a whole hour. When I ran about 1/2 a mile into the run I started to feel sweat on my lower back; this is a new thing. When I got home and took off my shirt I had a wet sweat spot covering the middle of the back from top to bottom! my normal sweat  has always been around my bra and groin areas.  I did notice there was no sweat mark on the front stomach area; that isn’t as healed as the back.

When I hopped in the shower the impact of what that means hit me! I started to cry and Praise God!

The end of the day I taught a class, the first class I have taught since I have been healed; I stood at the front of the class using the whiteboard, teaching fellow students about God and His Power to Heal and about strongholds and how to be set free!  Basically all the stuff I know well! God is Good!

I am Walking by the Spirit into my future! God IS So Good!


Today we took our first steps to walking debt free: It has to do with changing or attitude about credit and learning to pay cash and doing without instead of getting before we can afford it. It also means changing our attitude about feeling we are owed something because we work hard and we want it.

We have paid off our credit card bills many times but gotten back into debt very quickly; I believe it is one more way God says transform the way you think, if you do it my way you will succeed!


I have asked God for a friend and today I believe He gave me one today. I was invited to coffee at a McDonald’s for a bunch of women to just talk and get to know each other; it was defiantly a God moment! So as I was writing yesterday, about the 3 people Jesus choosing as His closest friends.  I Believe God is filling these spots.

Today after praying and spending time with God; He gave me energy to run 3 miles and at the end of the run He started to plant the idea of  Lunges.  I did my normal 70 lunges with my log, 30 lifts, 30 curls and then before I got into the shower I thought of trying a plank.  I ended up planking for 5 minutes with little problem; then I tried pull-ups and I succeeded at 8 of them! God is Working a mighty WORK in me!

Some day I will start getting up and spending time with God first thing and running early so I have energy for the day! GOD IS GOOD!!!!!

daily notes


Last night Sam woke with Bart and wanted water; I didn’t sleep well after that; I did get up and make it to church. At Church today, I learned I need to reassess what a friend is.  The first 15 years of my marriage God gave me one friend for every place I lived. Here the last 13 years I have had a person who I could count on to help me and me help them for a short period of time and then they leave. I need to think like Jesus did; He had 40 long disciples, and chose 12, and had 3 close friends.  I have a group of friends that would fit into the 40 and the 12 and maybe I have the 3 growing and becoming.

Bart helped me understand my body better; when I run my body changes from dragging my feet and not really moving into an active person that lifts her feet with energy, even if my back muscles are worn out. If it wasn’t winter I would try and get myself up and running early to have energy for the day; since it is winter I prefer to run at the warmest part of the day.

One other thing Bart and I learned today, our fitbit counts more steps when we are tired and struggling to walk; our arms do much more work to help us move when our legs are struggling to walk. I was dragging my feet until I ran 3 miles which had many breaks of short walks from a few steps to walking across the street.

God is Good


I ended up running 7 miles yesterday; I went out wanting to run 4 miles but God put the picture of the railroad in my mind suggesting I run 6 miles; taking charlie out for a mile is the extra mile.  It took until 1:30 for my body to relax and fall asleep.

Today my body was still warn out today; I believe God is Pushing me to run further and longer to strengthen my core muscles. I do want you to know I don’t run the whole miles; I push to run longer and further depending on my strength for the day, I can run one whole mile once and a while but often a break for a few steps to give my back muscles a rest then I am able to continue running.  I do find myself stopping to take pictures of clouds and sunsets.

Today, I messed up and didn’t spend time with God until the end of the day. The other thing I  messed up on is I challenged God as He lead me to go clean up the back yard after walking the dogs.  God has used this to teach me to follow Him.  I didn’t want to go clean up the the back yard so I told God He better help me find everything and not step in anything.  guess what? I am not suppose to tell God He Better do anything. I did step in something the second time since He started Guiding me. The other time I challenged God in a different way. I will soon write about Learing to Follow the Spirit. God Bless.


I am thinking about trying a daily note to get me working and writing.  and not fearing the computer.

Last night was a wonderful night sleep until an ache in my left leg, woke me; I tried to stretch it out but found no relief.  I finally got out of bed and put on “outback” the pain reliever that healed my sciatic nerve last year, I did feel the pain spread up and down my left side and even touch my head.  I started to think it could have something to do with a front going through. I do feel an ache on my left side, at times, from my accident 30 years ago.

I finally said, “NO, Satan, you take your pain and leave! I am a child of God and you have NO Place in my life or body!” My head pain left and most of my extra body pain.  I am still confessing healing and putting on “outback” to reduce the swelling of the muscles and nerves in my body.

Not long after I was settling down to sleep, Sam was pushing Bart off the bed because he is just Big; we trued to move him down to our feet, but he jumped off the bed and growled at the door because he wanted out. It was the first time he growled at the door; he usually stands there for a while then barks. Bart got up and let him out and back in, it just happened to be close to 10 degrees outside; Sam came back in and wanted under the covers to warm up; I let him under one layer of blanket under and helped him lay down. Sleep come.

One thing I am finding I have a great desire to step out and teach; there is another part, which will not succeed, that is comfortable in class sitting. I wonder if it has something to do with learning how to handle confrontation; people that question the Truth that I know.

I believe yesterday was a day of rest: I didn’t want to get dressed in all the clothes it takes to run in single digits so I walked with Bart.  I believe today, I have been revived to feeling like a real person with desire because yesterday was a day off. It was different than most of my days of rest; sleep is normal for a day of rest and laying on the couch, not sitting at my desk cleaning it off.  Oh well, off to run I believe in the country because it is warm enough and early enough.  God is Good! God Bless each person who reads this With Well Being and Filled with LOVE and Peace!

The 3 Parts of Me

My life began in September the sophomore year of my college experience; I told God, “I WANT what they (the Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship College Students) have!” He Changed me at that moment! I was filled with a Joy and a LOVE that I had never known before!

MY SPIRIT: I tried all my life to read the Bible and get close to God, but I couldn’t. I remember one day asking Him if it was ok with Him if I used His name in vain to become part of a group of kids. He didn’t respond.

On that day in September, when I told God I want: He Answered! He gave me the ability to read my Bible and understand it; I read every day and enjoyed myself! Friends told me I am doing too much studying and I will get bored and quit; I didn’t listen to them, I was a sponge, soaking up everything about God that I could!

Looking back into my old journals, I was very surprised: Joy and Thankfulness fill the pages, even tho I was in emotional turmoil! My spirit went from being dead to being alive; as my bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17; I became a new creature! Jesus said, I need to be born of the Spirit! I am!

MY SOUL: Personally and emotionally, I was a mess: I fought depression, PTSD, anxiety, and constant fear among other problems: BUT there was a JOY inside! GOD DID something inside me!

I have learned how to “renew my mind” and to “take every thought captive” as Paul writes in hie letters to the church. The way to do this is to realize what you are thinking and when thoughts like condemnation bring you down, kick them out, and replace them with God Thoughts: Love and Redemption. Jesus is making me more like Him each and every day!

God Shows Himself through the cracks that form in me as I grow and become more like Him! For example, my last day of work in KY, I was saying goodbye to my supervisor; she complained to me about a coworker who had started to come to work drunk. In response I asked, “what happened in her life, that is so bad she can’t handle life without drinking?” the words coming out of my mouth were not mine.  Up until that point I had complained just like my supervisor. They were God Words showing through my growth cracks!

MY BODY: It does what it has been doing, when I sat all day every day that is all my body did.  God healed me from pain and gave me nerves to let my back muscles gain strength so I could get strong and learn to run! As God gave me healing and strength I asked God to teach me how to clean my house because I had sat in pain for so long I didn’t know how to move.

The way I transform my body and my soul is to walk by the Spirit of God, listening to His leading; I am getting better at following the Spirit I successfully: Yesterday, I followed God to the bread department in the grocery store and found my bread on sale!

Sometimes I fail: Last week, God was pointing out brown sugar; I told Him I don’t need any. Later at home, I was making cookies and found I needed brown sugar; if I had listened I would have had what I needed.

He leads me in other areas like my running; He is the one who pushed me to run every day and run 2 miles even when I had to walk half of it. Mostly He is training me to listen and follow.

All of me is changing: My Spirit, Boom: Made New in one moment in time! My Soul being renewed as I work with God to change my thoughts and actions! My Body is being trained to be active instead of sedentary.

God is Good


The Action of Becoming

Yesterday, was a day I enjoyed; I acted almost like a normal person!

I played Frisbee with the dogs,img_0645 AND started a fire in the fireplace which means hauling logs, AND vacuuming,  AND putting together a Christmas angel AND finishing the outdoor Christmas lights AND I noticed the stems fro866602c5-f82b-4e03-8e4e-530203840a25m all the Hosta plants that needed to be cut,(it was very hard on my back all the bending over it probably took on hour to clip them),  AND I walked with Bart, AND I went to the grocery store, AND made dinner, AND I boned the turkey from thanksgiving, AND washed the week’s dishes that had built up; midnight I finally took time to pray and read my Bible.

NOTICE THE AND’S IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH AND NEAR THE BOTTOM THE OR’S! This is the difference between before my healing and after my healing which is still continuing. Before my healing I could do ONE THING; after my healing I am able to string many projects together in one day!

One important thing happened yesterday which gave me great understanding; after I went to bed my back became very hot; for the first time in my life I followed the heat to where it quit being hot; it split hot and cold with a horizontal line crossing my tailbone.  What it told me was I still have a huge area without enough nerves to regulate my core body temperature.

How many people do you know that build up so much heat from sweeping and moping a floor they need to take clothes off; if I have company I put on shorts but if I am home alone off come the pants and I fold the shirt up to let the heat out from my midriff. When I sit, I get cold. I am noticing as I spend hours typing and reading and changing my story; my sweater goes on and off: IT IS WORK!

Today is a day of rest; the kind of rest that makes me sleep sound. I get frustrated because most days I am able to do so much but days like today my body says enough!  December 3, 2016, this img_0644was a day I slept until noon; when I woke up it was hard to put one foot in-front of the other to walk. I brought the dogs outside to play Frisbee and made breakfast. It wasn’t long after I ate breakfast that I had to lay down and take a nap; I slept until 5:30 PM. It is still much better that before my healing;  during a visit from our parents 10 years ago, I was so worn out from sitting at a table and playing cards for hours;  that I slept the whole next day waking only to eat 3 times during the day; I was able to sleep the whole next night also.

Today when I woke  from my nap, I was so weak I needed a quick snack to get my body moving, cottage cheese and a granola bar, energy! This gave my brain food for thinking, and my body energy to move to making dinner.  At the end of this day, God has blessed me with the ability to sit at the computer and type; sitting up at a computer and at a dinner table uses my muscles in a way that takes great strength. God is Very Good!img_0649

At 14 years old doctors put a 18 inch Harrington rod connected to my spine to stop my spine from curving further; when the doctors first diagnosed me they saw that I had double curves, both 35 degrees; within 2 years the curves had grown to 65 degrees while wearing a Milwaukee brace (in the picture you can see the metal of the brace is around my neck).  Surgery was the only thing they could offer to stop my spine from continuing to curve. The surgery took the two 65 degree curves and straightened  them to two 35 degree curves; it fullsizerenderleft me with a 16 inches of  a scar and back muscles  that lost communication with my spine, the nerves were cut.  (this is a picture of me in my cast that went from my neck to my groin) I do see my lower jaw thrusting forward; I still do that today, it is a way my body compensates when I look down to keep my airway open to be able to breathe freely.

I remember the first winter after my surgery my family was visiting relatives who lived on a hilly part of the Minnesota country side; while walking those hills my thighs went numb, it was a bit scary: those nerves must have repaired themselves because the feeling only lasted a few years. Sometimes, strange things happen when nerves reconnect, they sometimes get crossed with another nerve: many days I have had an itch and had to hunt for the spot to scratch, because the place that itched wasn’t the spot that needed to be scratched.

My back ended up with large areas of deadness; you could stick me with a knife and I would not feel it. There were also areas that were so hyper sensitive that at one doctor visit while he was checking my nerves with electricity I almost gave the doctor a heart attack; he touched the area of sensitivity, I jumped with a  scream so loud the doctor RAN out of the room. After a few minutes, he came back into the room shaken and filled with fear, asking if he had damaged my spine.

What I didn’t know at age 14 and I have found out at age 50; if the nerves don’t reconnect to the muscles, the muscles atrophy!

Every year at my yearly doctor visit , my doctor would notice my lack of back muscles as she checked my breathing and heart; she would say, “You need to do core exercises.”

I would think to myself, “my stomach muscles are strong, they are what holds me up!”

At 49 years old, I asked my doctor, “Can atrophied muscles get stronger?”

She said, ” If they have nerves connected to them.”

I then asked God, “Could you give me nerves connected to my muscles so they can get stronger?”

God Did: One evening, during the winter of 2011-12 I remember getting up from the couch, walking into the kitchen and feeling parts of my back that I had not felt since 1976; it was the craziest feeling!

The year God started to work on my nerves and I started running, my doctor FOUND MUSCLES in my back! After a year or two of getting stronger I mentioned to my doctor that she used to tell me I needed to exercise my core muscles; she remembered and was shocked at my transformation! I told her it was ALL GOD! I hadn’t changed anything I did before, I was able gain strength and DO MORE! I do remember the first time in my life I had strength added: I lifted heavy snow for hours then I went to teach children at church I noticed an amazing feeling: I WAS STRONGER instead of weaker!!!fullsizerender

The way I started to run Looked like this: run the block, while tightening all my core muscles because every step hurt; I walked the street and again I would run holding tight every muscle until I got to the next street. By the 3rd – 4th street I was able to run without as much pain.  At the end of the street I huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed and huffed and puffed, when I was ready I ran home in the same manner! The miracle: when I had the desire to run the next day I was able to do it all over again!  I started to run 5 days a week. Realize my almost mile took a good 20-25 minutes to run! Bart found a 5K to run 9 months after I started running.

What I have learned, it takes back muscles to lift your legs and arms past a certain point. Sometime after I turned 40 I starting to limp on my Right leg; previously I had limped for 20 years on my Left leg because of my accident; I didn’t understand why it switched: it didn’t make sense to me.  I now understand, My Right back muscles were very weak and getting weaker; when I was tired my back muscle could no longer lift my leg, it gave me a big limp: I used walls, counter tops and my family as a cane. During days I was well rested I could dig in my garden, OR weed, OR clean house, OR walk 2 miles, maybe even run a block, OR clean some house, OR go to the store, OR do something that needed to get done: then I would rest for 3-5 days depending on how hard I had pushed myself!

When my body was very weak; what I was able to do was sit on the couch, lay my head against the back of the couch, and watch tv. There were days I couldn’t walk up the stairs to help my daughter or to check on her. When I took my daughter to the store to buy clothes I often sat on the cement floor and let her look, because I just couldn’t stand up any longer. If we went to the grocery store and I remembered something while waiting in line; I had to send my daughter because I couldn’t walk anymore.

God does His Work at the Perfect timing; when I received my miracle, I was so far bent over that it was hard to hold my body up; my butt muscles were working overtime! My body cannot bend at my waist, all forward leaning is from my hips. I was beginning to think I needed a cane; Bart thought I needed a walker; my mom thought I needed a wheel chair: BUT GOD HAD OTHER IDEAS!!!! I finished the race!



My First 10 Mile Run

My first thought of the possibility that this might be a 10 mile run started around mile 4 but I didn’t believe it was real until around mile 7-8; the distance isn’t a plan or a desire just a thought that Pops into my head, I don’t think it is my thought, I wonder what is 10? Is this a distance? Is it my thought or is God leading me? The thought of 10 is mixed with a knowing I am somehow ending up at my original 2 mile mark, the Speedway gas station!

I started to run regularly, for real, the day after Christmas 2011, I took img_0425Zachery who was about 15 years old for a walk/run; my body, weak from scoliosis surgery in 1976, and broken in an accident from 1983, had the strength to run about one day a month; I spent much of my time on the couch because of weakness.

The very next day, I took Zachery for a walk and had the desire to run; my first thought was, “I can’t run! I just ran yesterday! I will try.” The run was as good as the day before: running the blocks, walking the streets, getting to the 1/2 mile spot, stopping to huff and puff, and huff and puff, before I headed back home. From that day until planting season, I ran 5 days a week: a miracle. I was running about 20 minutes a mile, most people could walk faster than I was running, but I was running and getting stronger.

A year or so later God started to challenge me to run every day; He wouldn’t say anything until I was past the hardest part at the beginning; He put this picture of the Speedway gas station in my mind. I knew He was challenging me to run 2 miles; everyday I had the same response, “Really?” At first it was easy enough, but after a few days my body didn’t want to run at all and He would still challenge me to go the 2 miles, even if I had to walk 1/2 of it. I know He was making me stronger, teaching me how to endure.

I was born to run: in 6th grade I ran fast enough to make it onto the school relay team. We were all lined up and told to run as fast as we could, the top 4 made the team with one alternate. My team took 1st place in the city competition without me, but that is another story.

The next time I tried to run was in college, I had a desire to get strong and be in shape; I started running outside my dorm room in the neighborhood, during the beautiful spring season in ND  but it only lasted a few days. Around that time, I visited my grandmother on her MN farm; the country roads are marked in a one mile square grid, to go around the block I would be running 4 miles. I took off running with great desire to succeed, but about half way I was ready to collapse; it took all  I had to drag myself the rest of the way to her place. I now know that my body was weak from the scoliosis surgery, but back then I didn’t understand at all.

After my accident in 1983, I was too weak to run. After adopting our daughter in my early 30, I  gained some core strength by holding her every chance I had, it allowed me to run at a rest stop parking lot for the first time since my accident. IT brought great joy to my life, such a great gift: Strength enough to run!

Today, I was heading out of town planning to get a 4 mile run; it started out well, nothing spectacular but a decent pace of 11mm with a few pauses for Sam, my beautiful 14 month old puppy, who is built to run! Somewhere around the beginning of my img_03152nd mile I had a shot of pain hit my left knee; it was confusing why it would hurt, soon I realized it  had something to do with climbing on a ladder to clean gutters the day before. I confessed out loud, “I am healed in the Blood of Jesus!” and I ran on! It worked well to run on the edge of the gravel road where the dirt was a bit more solid;  at the end of the 1/2 mile section of road I usually turn around, but I had the desire to cross the road and continue on to the next road; by mile three the knee pain was completely gone, but a new pain in my intestines started to grab my attention.

Turning around at the first road sign I head back to the road home; I am concentrating on the occasional traffic and finding solid ground to run on until I notice Sam’s interest peaking; I see something in the grass but can’t quite figure out what is so interesting.  I almost run into a dead deer with it’s parts spread all over the side of the road and out into the field.  I jerked Sam fast; pulling him away from the remains, before he could put his mouth on a piece. What an ugly sight out on this beautiful peaceful country road.

When I arrived at the road home, I crossed it and continued on until I hit the next road sign;  at this time I turned around to head back home; why did I add those two extra bits to my run? I don’t know, but on the road home I start to hear this number 10 in my head; wondering if it means something like miles, I get excited at the possibility but I also think I don’t really want to work that hard. Twelfth street arrives much faster than I am used to so I figure I will head down this road for a bit extra; thinking I can turn here or there but it seems there is a need to make it to the next road, 2 miles away. On the 2 miles return, I startto realize the shoes I am wearing are brand new and my heals are starting to complain; this is why professionals break in shoes before they use them on a big run.2b6397e1-d494-4532-8cb9-9904680a0733

Finally reaching home to change dogs, I have run 8 miles.  Changing to looser pants to relax my intestines, and putting on comfortable old shoes to relieve my heal pain, I grab a banana and a glass of water; then I grab Charlie to run. I think quickly of just a short run but I remember  the picture God put in my head, so off I run to my 2 mile mark: God is Pushing me further! Making me STRONGER!


God is Good!