The Question

I asked God as I fell asleep: Why do I need to have something on to listen to, to fall asleep?

God woke me after 3 1/2 hours of sleep and showed me a video in my mind of the night my father kidnapped me and my brother and sister from my mom. Dad dropped Mom off at the hairdresser telling her to get all done up nice.  Mom thought things might be getting better, no one came to pick her up: the worst day of her life was the beginning of the worst year of my life.

That first night away from my mom was spent at a friend of Dad’s who was not happy with what he was doing.  I was put to bed with the record of “Peter and the Wolf” and “The Nutcracker” which were suppose to cover the yelling that was going on in the other room.

Still today, I need something to think about and listen to keep the bad thoughts and dreams away; these days I put on a podcast from either Joyce Meyer, Joseph Prince, or Ken Copeland.  Many days I fall asleep and and sleep all night but then there are days that I will fall asleep hearing the voice talking and wake up when it quits.  This bothers my husband because he would like it quiet.

Bart is happy that it is podcast because they move from one to another; when I used to put on a CD or a cassette tape, I would flip it over or hit play again and again so it is the same thing played over and over again.  I am not listening to what they are saying unless I am just awake; I need to hear them talking to sleep. On the days I am awake until 3 or 5 AM, I am learning things I need to know about God.  I don’t want to listen to something that is not God filled because I don’t need to add to my bad thoughts or memories coming back in my dreams.

I have been healed enough to be able to fall asleep in the quiet if the power is out, but it is not my normal.

2 thoughts on “The Question

  1. That is an interesting insight, Justine. It is reassuring to know that there is a reason for it. What a great idea to fill your mind with Christ!

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