Fear vs Trust

How often do you believe a person when they say they will do something for you?

God is exposing my fear of believing people.

My life has been filled with people who I could not trust, but when I found some who where trustworthy, they still messed up.

God is showing me my fear as I play “The legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild” video game. I have become very good at using bow and arrows! The bows break often but I have found a maker of bows who said, “Anytime this bow is damaged or broken come back and I will replace it for you.”

I went back when my bow was damaged and ready to break, he didn’t do anything. I was confused and thought I miss understood again. But when I lost the bow by braking, he replaced it. I have gone back 3 times and I am learning how to trust.

This translates to real life as I experience fear of ordering online to pick up in the store parking lot. I don’t trust they will get what I want or/and they will not be there when scheduled, or they take off with my goods.

God is pushing me to trust that it will work as created to work.

maybe my biggest fear is waiting for a stranger to come up to my vehicle while I sit and wait…Help Jesus help!

When God exposes a weakness He heals it. God is Very Good!

Lessons in Trust

A few years ago, I found through counseling that my emotional age  stopped at about age 7.  This basically means I am fearful of authority and do everything possible to not get into trouble. Post traumatic stress also affects the way I respond to situations.

I have been working hard to grow into my 50 something age that I am and be set free from reacting to PTSD triggers.

These are 3 stories in my life at airports that showing how God sends people to help the childlike.

My first flight as an adult, my future husband mailed me plane tickets to visit him. I arrived at the airport and boarded the plane with my ticket in hand. The nice stewardess sent me back to the building to get my ticket checked.
Today is so different, can you believe I could walk onto the plane without anyone checking to see if I had a ticket?

About fifteen years later I have a chance to fly again, my sister asks me to be a Godparent for her new son.  Michelle, our three year old, and I are flying out a week earlier than Bart. We change planes in Atlanta, Georgia.

Asking how to get to our connecting flight, because I have never changed planes before. We are directed to a tram which makes me nervous, it is new and scary. Following the crowd we each carry a backpack, a suitcase, and hold hands tightly so we don’t get separated.
Everyone piled onto the tram and I did my best to join them, but Michelle was pulling away, fearing the crowd!

I thought I was successful until the door shut on my daughter’s hand!

Michelle is on the outside but I am holding her hand! “Oh God, what does this mean? What do I do?”

Before I have a chance to scream, the door opens and I pull pull Michelle inside.

God Bless the person I see in the hall with a walkie-talkie! They  saved my daughter! Someone next to me mentions, some places don’t have that person to stop the tram. Relief fills my soul.
A month later, my grandmother dies. I am a bit of a mess, she was my safe place.
I wanted to bring Michelle with me because I am much braver as Mom than just plain me. I am thankful we don’t need to go through Atlanta, but arriving in Chicago we find about real airport stories and snow delays.
Leaving the plane, we find that our connecting flight is canceled. Fear and anxiety rise! My worst nightmare! What do I do?
Thankfully, I find an airport worker who answers my first question and walks me to the line for new tickets.
 We get new tickets and find seats to wait. I am feeling alone and wonder, “Will we make it to the funeral? Did we fly all this way to miss the funeral? What good will that do?”
The seats around us fill up with people waiting for the next flight out, and many are flying to Minneapolis.  Some of the more seasoned flyers start asking questions to get flight information.
Someone hears of a gate that might have a flight out. A group of 30-40 people get up and walk to that gate and wait until someone else finds another tip. Ten or so trips up and down the B corridor tire my body as I carry a back pack, suitcase, and my 3 year old.
Finally, a gate is found actually checking tickets and a line forms. Michelle and I find the back of the line. When I reach the desk, I give them my ticket believing everything is done and we can relax until we are on the plane.
The clerk looks at my ticket and says, “I’m sorry but you have the wrong tickets! You need to go to the back of the line and wait!”

Crushed, I walk to the end of the line. Tears streaming down my face, I am falling apart! Holding tightly onto my daughter I ask, “What am I going to do?”

All of a sudden, a women comes from the front of the line and says, “Remember God!”

Something in me changes, “God is here!” Hope rises.
Immediately, a man walks from the front of the line announcing loudly to everyone, “My ticket is for gate E3!
Quickly I realize that is my ticket and I ask, “Can we go with you?”
Seeing my load he grabs my suitcase and we follow, “Thank you so much for helping! I am on the way to my grandma’s funeral”
He says,”This is my first time back in the states for 10 years.”
Arriving at the gate, we see nothing. No Notice of a plane scheduled to fly, no people to ask questions. We are alone in this huge airport. The three of us sit and wait.
He asks, “Would your husband mind if I rented a car and drove us to Minneapolis?”
“Yes, my husband would be upset. Thank you for offering.”
“I will get some food for you, if you will watch my suitcase.”
“Thank you.”
The minute he is out of sight, I start to worry, “they say” “do not hold a strangers luggage.” Am I in trouble for holding his luggage?
Fear rises and I hear an announcement over the intercom, “The flight to Minneapolis is leaving at gate B23 in 30 minutes!”
Panic! “I gotta go! I need to run! But I said I would watch his luggage! I can’t leave his suitcase!”
The man returns, carrying a tray filled with food.
“I didn’t know what kind of food you would like so I picked up a variety.”
“Thank you!” Both Michelle and I are hungry, but I am leery thinking he could have put something in the food. I think the milk, cereal, and the banana are safe and we eat.
After we eat, he throws the extra food and says, “Will you watch my suitcase again? I want to make arrangements in case this flight doesn’t go.”
“No problem.”
This time I see he is on a phone down the hall. Again the announcement rings out, “The flight to Minneapolis leaves in 10 minutes.” I want to pick up all my stuff and run back to that gate! But, I can’t leave his suitcase!
Finally, he returns and says, “Would you like me to make other arrangements for you?”
“Yes, thank you.”
The minute he leaves, “Last call for the flight to Minneapolis!”
Panic roars, I have to leave! I start to put my things together so I can run, but his suitcase! It is an anchor holding me in place.

He returns and I realize the flight has gone. There is nothing to do but wait and hope this flight will happen.

Hours later a sports team arrives, soon after clerks arrive at the desk. They put up the flight number and time on the board. Things are looking up!
Fight attendants show up allowing us to board the plane. I think it is strange that the man who took care of us walks past us like he never met us, (I have noticed  God will use a person for a moment in time to tell me something or help me and then they go on their life like they never met me). The man has a first class ticket and the only reason I am able to board first is Michelle is only 3.
We sit in the back of the plane hearing talk that we might not have pilots. “Help Jesus!”
Pilots arrive, the plane is cleared of snow and ice. We take off.
My sister and brother meet us at the gate and our luggage is waiting!  Everything is as it should be! We are on time for the funeral and everything worked.
My Loving Heavenly Father sent help!  When I was so stressed I forgot about Him, He sent a person to remind me, “I Am Here!”
Then He sent a man to anchor me, and forced me to wait.
GOD IS GOOD!

Lifting others lifts yourself.

What is a simple way to find favor with God?

ISAIAH 58:9b says if you stop pointing fingers at others and give yourself to the afflicted and hungry then God will make your gloom as noonday!

What does that mean in your daily life? Stop focusing on me and my and consider others and their pain. How can you help?

Step out to engage others in Love as God by lifting others.

What is gloom?

What is noonday?

Which do you prefer?

Say something nice when you cross paths.

God is Good!

Surprise

God works all things together for Good so all the things that are going wrong will be turned somehow for our good.

One of the most vivid examples of this is ten years ago we were asked to leave our church. We were feeling scared and abandoned. What will we do if something happens and we have no pastor or church to call? We are new to the state and don’t have friends or relatives anywhere near! What will we do?

I said, “I know by next year all will be well and even Good!”

With in six months we found a new church and in that church God brought people into my life to start the healing of my junky past and a bonus at twelve months, God gave me a new sacrum. This took away 28 years of a constant dull ache.

I will not say the time between the hard end and the beginning of the Blessing is ever easy; but keeping hope alive changes life and, hope does not disappoint!

Walking in Hope, changes how the in-between is  experienced. Believing the Best puts Joy into your step!

What do you see in the picture? The beautiful flowers? or the weeds? That is an example of living in Hope.  Changing what you are focusing on to something enjoyable. So no matter what your struggle, find a way to Hope and change the atmosphere you are living in!

God is Good!

Joy In The Middle

Today I am filled with Joy in a difficult season, most people would be stressed and upset but I see God moving and redeeming.

Receiving a phone call at 2 A.M. may cause panic, but I have found Peace Filling in my soul as I Trust Jesus.  I raise my arms and Praise Jesus in spite of all that is going on around me.

God is always working to keep His children safe, especially when we take our eyes off of Him. When something catches our eye, changing our focus, the road turns, and we fall into the ditch. Often it takes a few tries from different angles for God to get our attention, but He doesn’t quit until we allow Him to pull us out of our ditch.

This week my family is taking another stab at getting out of the proverbial ditch. I believe we are out of the rut that held us down as we Follow Jesus back into the Father’s arms.

Wisdom says it will not be an up only trial but God is working and I see the Promises of God being fulfilled.

God is Very Good!

Praising God!

I know many are wondering why I stand up and Praise God.

January 2011, God gave me a miracle!

God took away 28 years of constant pain instantly and completely during a CT-scan! The spine doctor said, “Nothing ever happened to those bones!” He didn’t know in 1983, a 65 MPH impact broke my pelvic bone in 3 places and 5 vertebrae.

Holy Spirit prompted me to ask Jesus for nerves to be connected to my muscles that were cut in 1976 and 1983. I learned atrophied muscle will not gain strength without nerves connecting them. THE LORD started connecting those nerves in 2011, giving me the ability to gain strength and lift my arms in Praise.

I started lifting my arms when I joined the choir because I felt accepted and continued because Westwood believes the Bible is The True Word of God.

This week I learned the MOST TRUE REASON:

GOD KNOWS EVERY PART OF ME (everything I have done and everything that has been done to me) AND LOVES ME AND EVEN LIKES ME and HE WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH ME!

The woman at the well in John 4:29 msg “Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knew me inside and out!”

also in Psalm 27:10 NASB “My father and mother have forsaken me but The LORD will take me up.”

Healing/Miracles Have Been Paid For

Back in the 80’s Bart and Justine are sitting at the kitchen table when Justine notices, “WOW! I’ve had a few minutes of no pain! What a Wonderful feeling that is!”

Quickly the devil plants a thought in her mind, “I deserve to hurt. I didn’t listen to God when He showed me the dangers of motorcycles!”

Fifteen years later, a new pain develops her tailbone making life more difficult. Realizing she needs help she cries out, “God, we are moving to a house with 2 acres. I need to be able to work in the yard.”

God replies, “Go to the radio station, ask them pray for you.”

Obeying, Justine asks for prayer, but nothing happened. Leaving the station she questions,

“What’s up, God? Nothing happened!”

God impressed upon Justine, “JESUS ALREADY PAID, you don’t have to pay!”

Seeing the cross, Justine grasps the concept, what Jesus did trumps what she didn’t do.

“JESUS ALREADY PAID! I DON’T HAVE TO PAY!”

The pain left before she reached her vehicle.

1 Peter 2:24 He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.

Praise Changes Lives

Rejoice in the LORD always, again I say rejoice!

The things you have learned….Practice these things and the God of peace will be with you! Philippians 4:4,9

Do you believe you have to feel however you happen to feel? Have you ever noticed your feelings are fickle, changing with every thought?

When you get up on the wrong side of the bed, what do you do? Are you ever depressed because the weekend is over? If you notice someone looking at you strangely, do bad thoughts invade your mind?

Have you noticed thoughts are connected with emotions? Do you know you have a CHOICE in how to spend your days?

God says to take every thought captive, think the best, get rid of the bad thoughts, cover other’s mistakes, and walk in LOVE. These are choices!

I saw this played out last June. Bart and I were walking in the beautiful sunshine, but depression was taking control. God spoke through my mouth, “Choose to think of 10 things you are Thankful for every morning?”

Bart made the choice to act. He started being Thankful for 10 things, the next morning.

I saw the difference immediately! First he was filled with Joy! Changes showed in little things like Bart asking me to dance with him. It was the first time in our 35 years of marriage. Then out of the blue, Bart announced he is no longer afraid of heights! He offered to help me put up the Christmas lights! This fills my heart with REJOICING!

God knows what He is doing! Joy has invaded our home and is transforming it!

Being a Living Holy Sacrifice

In Romans 12, Paul talks about presenting our bodies as a living holy sacrifice, acceptable to God.

It is a human fight with self, to be a living holy sacrifice for God. I see this battle of the mind, in our two dogs. The best place to watch it, is playing Frisbee and ball in the back yard with Sam and Charlie.

Sam is excited to run. He brings the Frisbee to us, dropping it so we can throw it, and barking if we are not fast enough. When Sam gets tired, he will try to play Charlie’s game, but quickly gives up to run.

Charlie wants to run and chase his ball but something inside him says, “Hold on, and don’t let go!”

I bend down to get on his level with a light hold of the ball, ready to release it if he pulls too hard. I say, “Charlie run! Let go and run!”

Charlie whines and complains thinking about letting go of the ball. He can spend 5 -10 minutes deciding to let go! I see his mind thinking, he gets close to letting go and then chomps down even harder. Finally, he lets go and runs. He is excited because he succeeded in letting go, to do what I asked!

There are days I am like Sam and I follow God through the day smiling, filled with Joy and Praise. When God prompts me to go talk to a person in the store or give a dollar to the homeless person I do it freely and easily. I walk in LOVE and take no offense at anything heard or seen, forgiving everyone freely.

Then there are days when I am more like Charlie. I want to have a pity party because I took offense and it feels good to wallow in the flesh for a while; I know I need to forgive and be free, help me Jesus!

Sometimes God urges me to talk to a person but I debate too long, “Is that you God? I don’t really want to. Do you really need me?”

When I realize I missed God, I condemn myself and berate myself until God reminds me, Jesus died to forgive ALL my mistakes! The faster I accept Jesus’ gift the faster I get on to enjoying my life which is what He died for!

How enjoyable life will be when we all walk in communion with God continuously and let go of self.

GOD IS GOOD!