Jesus Already Paid

Today, I achieved 100 days of 10,000 steps, a miracle!

It is amazing how God helps me accomplish this.

Today, during choir practice, just holding  sheet-music sends my upper back muscles into crippling pain!

Yesterday, I run 3 miles, do lunges, log lifts, plank, and push-ups with no problem.

Today I can’t hold sheet music!

But God Provides!

My life changing lesson: In the year 2000 a new pain in my tailbone develops just as we are about to move.

I tell God, “You need to heal this because we are moving to a home with 2 acres of land and I need to work it.”

God replies, “Go to the radio station and ask them to pray for you.”

I obey!

They pray.

I leave saying, “God, What’s up? I do what You say and nothing happens!”

God answers, “JESUS ALREADY PAID! YOU DON’T HAVE TO!”

As this fills my soul, I remember a lie!

Age 25 a thought, “I suffer pain to pay for not listening to God!”

God takes the tailbone pain away as I received His message,

“Jesus Already Paid!”

 

Hello Body

We would like to introduce ourselves;

Body, we are the nerves that have recently made contact with your spinal cord.

Being cut off from the spine in 1976, was cruel. Life has been boring just hanging around dormant for the last 40 years. We have been carried around not able to help out, wondering if we would ever be usefull again.

What a surprise to find ourselves awake in 2011. It was slow at first. The beginning was just a knowledge that we exist as body stood to her feet and walked. She felt us!

The feeling started to grow and the muscles became involved enough to alert the body’s doctor.

Doctor said, “I’m glad you started to exercise.”

Body said, “I didn’t do anything different.”

Alarm sounds, Doctor wants to know about the  muscle growth. She ponders this for a year and decides to do the intake, next year.

Doctor asked, “What makes the difference in your muscles if your exercise is the same?”

Body says, “Jesus answered the request for nerves to be connected.”

We nerves have been working and growing and sometimes breeding complaint.

A funny period we nerves all itch.

 

Today growth seems to cause pain.

Body we want to know, “Are we nerves worth the constant pain?”

Nerves provide the ability to run, lift arms, sit up, type, and lift head?

“Does the ability to move make pain acceptable?”

Body says, “Yes! Body is Thankful for pain.”

God is Good!

Joy

Tonight 11/10/23:

Dinner with a group of friends!

After dinner we talk with no agenda for hours.

Sitting at the table with the conversation including me feels strange but good! LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE replace judgement.

Today, I speak many God stories. They question and receive my stories.

I have been included into their lives.

Forty years ago in College, I found  Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship and acceptance. Before that I was eight years old at my gramma’s house on the farm, watching aunts and uncles discussing life with grandparents.

What differs between these examples and the rest of my life?

The yearly visit with parents includes the relaxing family time playing cards. But the words coming at me are not peaceful.

Changing the subject I say, “Do you know what God did today?”

I hear, “Don’t talk politics!”

On 5/16/10, God directs us to a beautiful church where I find acceptance and safety.

Life collects battle wounds until God brings people who know LOVE! In this safe place,  open wounds become healed scars.

God is using this church to transform me:

PEACE and JOY replace anxiety.

God Is Good! He will heal anyone who asks and follows His directions! So Ask for Healing It is Good! Amen!

Pain in Brokenness to Healing in Jesus

I read a Facebook memory written when my daughter suggested, “You shouldn’t post what you do.”

A cherished friend added, “Facebook is a place to put family milestones or vacations.”

We don’t have family gatherings, not like other families.

The message I hear, “Stay away, your not normal.”

“You are 50 years old and still don’t know how to play with others. When are you going to learn?”

The tremendous pain of being left out and told to stay away has been in my life with a few exceptions. Facebook is my connection to the outside world. No friends in the state, no one to call and talk to especially after Mom died. TV and Radio are my constant companions.

My husband bought me an iPad to be able to connect on Facebook. God uses Facebook to connect me to people who rejoiced with me as God heals my body and I start running.

Years later, my life focuses on running with Jesus. I celebrate every milestones and  encourage others to do more. Every mile I run takes me further away from the cane and wheelchair that were calling.

Running has been a desire since high school, but scoliosis took the ability until God brought healing to my body.

Surprisingly, running builds confidence, regardless of my ability.

Today I am 61 and happier than anytime in my life save meeting my husband and daughter and people notice the work of God in me. A neighbor I see once a year says, “It is like you are in a cocoon and come out different every year!”

I am Thankful my friend list is growing and I have a friend who welcomes a phone call.

A few weeks ago I watched myself having a normal conversation: asking questions, listening, and adding things that connect to the conversation.

This was something I tried to do over and over without success. But God changes a person who asks for help; listen to His Voice, and act.

This thing God continues to do in me is available to everyone.  Ask God for help!

GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

New Beginning

While I was making breakfast today, God dropped a new beginning to the book I need to write.

While Bart and I were walking, I pulled up my app to tell him how many days in a row I have been posting. Today is day 3o. It is a God thing!

Eighteen months ago God helped me get 10,000 steps for 30 days. My normal body has always shut down at least once a week. Stringing together days is a miracle.

The first 30 turned into 103 days of 10,000 steps. Many of those days I couldn’t move until about 8 P.M.. This has become the time when my body becomes alive making a run for the goal possible.

Last year on my first 30 day mark, I started running at least a mile every day. It continued for 73 days, ending with the string of 10,000 steps.

The second 30 day mark is when I started sitting at my computer and typing something every day. This trained me to get comfortable typing.

My speed has tripled and I am clicking on things with no fear of breaking something. The only time I missed typing was for Dad’s funeral.

I am at another 30 days mark. I Believe I need to keep daily posting, Making time to write the book is important.

My house and gardens still have much work needed and my raspberries are ripening already. HELP JESUS! HELP!

LORD I NEED GUIDANCE! Less pain would be good LORD! Amen!

GOD IS GOOD!

The God Set Up

2013 Facebook memory

My whole life I have fallen asleep at 10 P.M., (even at sleepovers), and wake at 6 with the sun.

Turning 50 my body started to wake after midnight and stay awake for hours.

Falling asleep became a goal but often I am still awake in bed until 5 A.M., one day I try my mom’s suggestion, drinking Hot Chocolate. It worked once.

Eventually I decided to follow wisdom and work with my body instead of fight it.

Wisdom said, “Do not go to bed before midnight, no matter how tired.” If I need to lay down and take a short nap, I do. Then I wake up and accomplish something.

I believe it is a God setup, making me comfortable typing in the dark to write the book!

It has been years in the making. But God Knows how to time things so it is an easy transition.

First I become comfortable with being awake and trusting God to give me the energy for the day no matter what time I fall asleep.

Choosing Peace, I take the time to listen to podcast teachings and praying for people.

When this becomes a nightly occurrence, I decide to do clean house instead of lay in bed.

About 18 months ago I started typing on my computer daily, learning my scrivener program, getting better at typing, and strengthening the muscles that help me sit at the computer.

Today, I have put a blog post out every day for 21 days. This process has turned my writing a story from day or weeks into one day. Sitting and typing for hours using those muscles even more.

This is the last step before writing that book making me strong enough to type all the hours it will take. This has been a 10 year process.

I believe God is setting up a purpose for everyone. He has prepared a purpose before the foundation of the world.

God Is Good!

The Interesting Healing

This strange body that I have is starting to confuse my husband.

For our almost 40 years of marriage my body has run hot, especially while sleeping. I would wake in the night and throw off the covers but keeping my legs covered.

One night I touched my back and found hot skin down to this line across my buttocks. It was amazing how cold skin below the line was in comparison .

That line appeared after back surgery the summer of my freshman year of high school. After turning 50 that line started to change when my nerves began reconnecting. (IT is all a miracle from God!)

The change is much like ink on a piece of paper and the attempt to erase it. As the eraser is rubbing, the ink line smears. This explains the sensation of my nerves.

I asked my doctor  about the heat and she compared it to quadriplegic not able to control their core temperature. I  have always thought the perfect coat would be one that had arms and no vest, especially when walking.

One day I asked a women what hot flashes were like. She described heat building from inside the core.

From that definition I have had hot flashes for 40 years and now that I am 60 they are almost gone. How weird is that?

God Is So Good!

You Will Live and Not Die

Driving West to visit the parents, we met my nephew before heading to the homestead. My nephew told me that my mom sat everyone down separately to tell each person, “I have lung cancer and will die by the summer.”

The words that came out of my mouth were, “SHE WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE!”

When we arrived at the parents house the same spirit rose up in me.

I WOULD NOT ALLOW ANY TALK OF DEATH!

I told my mom, “YOU WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE!”

I had communion with her telling her that Jesus body was broken for her healing, and His Blood was shed for you to have His righteousness.

The other thing I did was write out Psalm 103:5 and asked her what it meant to her when she read it. Then I suggested she confess it out loud daily and believe it.

After returning home I called daily to put LIFE into her thoughts.

Instead of dying by the summer she was free of cancer from her brain, lung and next to her aorta.

How did I have the Strength and Boldness to speak life  everyone this way?

The answer came this week when I heard a preacher use Psalm 118:17 which says, “I shall not die, but live and tell the works of the LORD.”

Years ago, I read out loud five Psalms and one Proverb every day.  This covers all the Psalms and Proverbs each month. I read so long I wrote days of the month in my Bible to tell me where to start each day.

Joshua 1:8 says to meditate on the Word day and night so you might do all that is written so your life may be prosperous and have success.

When the Word is stored up in our soul then Holy Spirit is able to BRING IT TO REMEMBRANCE  when we need it!  He did it for me and He will do it for you!

PUT THE WORD IN YOUR SOUL!

Joy Comes in the Morning

Sometimes the morning  is at the end of a difficult season. The title “Joy comes in the morning,” means there is a night. Have you ever had one of those years?

My night started last summer when Grace was loosing weight. She was my cat! She was the one who would come and check on me every time I was outside working in the gardens and she greeted me every time I returned from running. We first thought she was loosing weight like every summer hunting critters in the yard. It turned out to be something different because her weight kept dropping and she refused to eat her food, even when we brought home cans of tasty food.

She breathed her last laying next to me on the couch November 14, 2021, at 11:30 P.M.

In the picture you see Sam laying next to Grace an hour before she left us.

I didn’t get the chance to mourn Grace leaving because Sam, our youngest animal was getting very sick and refused to run or walk.

Sam was getting sick  about the same time Grace started to loose weight. He had  an allergic reaction to both  fleas, the flea medicine, and his food.Who knew allergic reactions could make you sick.

We have always looked for a food he didn’t turn red after eating and found one but realized it had  lots of fillers.

He had no energy. We learned it was a yeast infection in his feet swelling his toes. This spread to his head and eventually to his ears. He was a mess when we first brought him to the veterinarian’s office. We had to sit in the vehicle because of COVID issues, and they came to get him. The Doctor came out to tell me all his problems which I couldn’t under stand because of the mask she wore. We came home with $550 bill and pills.

The pills worked until they were done and the infection came back. We go back to the vet and get more medicine and more money. I think the third  time I was able to go into the office and talk with the vet. She had the thought that we were not giving the medicine and was tempted to not let him go home with me. Fear gripped me as the vet said he had 2 resistant infections going on in his ears.

The forth or fifth time  they had us make a 2 week appointment to check and see that we were giving him his medicine. This brought some relief. Now we just need to keep him healthy.

I Hope and Believe his healing is going to stay healed because Bart found food on line that comes frozen and is suppose to be Good for dogs. He has been on this food for 6-8  weeks and Sam is looking BETTER then he has for years. We are praying his immune system kicks in and fights to keep him healthy without medicine!

Even with Sam going through this, I was starting to work in my flower garden early in the Spring. Hope was trying to rise!

But then we received the phone call. Dad diedThis became  on more strike to try and keep me down. The spring was spent driving to the West Coast twice.

After the funeral, Bart tried all Summer to get me out into my gardens, but I just couldn’t. Have you ever gotten stuck? Have you figured out how to get unstuck?

When it was time to pick raspberries(my favorite fruit of all) I felt physically barred from the raspberries. I had to fight through and invisible barrier that I didn’t understand at all. Picking raspberries brings me joy!

I did push past this thing that was holding me back after talking with my friend who encouraged me. Thankfully the call of the raspberries was stronger than the thing that kept me chained to the house.

HOPE IS RISING!

The vegetable and flower gardens  are waiting for me to join them.

Sam, is looking healthy for the first time in over a year, and he even started to gallop one evening we were running. It forced me to run just a bit faster! I have not seen that for years.

I believe the statement “It will be very difficult for me to work outside without Grace to come and see me.” did affect my ability to move. It is a learning curve to realize how much power the words we speak have power over our lives. It is shocking to see it really be acted out.

So Now I am telling myself it is easy to go outside so is it time to get outside and see what can be accomplished before snow falls. Hope is the thing I have always held onto! It helps me get up every morning and keep believing this next year will be better because I keep learning how to do better.

Do you know how to find HOPE? Ask Jesus!

Lessons in Trust

A few years ago, I found through counseling that my emotional age  stopped at about age 7.  This basically means I am fearful of authority and do everything possible to not get into trouble. Post traumatic stress also affects the way I respond to situations.

I have been working hard to grow into my 50 something age that I am and be set free from reacting to PTSD triggers.

These are 3 stories in my life at airports that showing how God sends people to help the childlike.

My first flight as an adult, my future husband mailed me plane tickets to visit him. I arrived at the airport and boarded the plane with my ticket in hand. The nice stewardess sent me back to the building to get my ticket checked.
Today is so different, can you believe I could walk onto the plane without anyone checking to see if I had a ticket?

About fifteen years later I have a chance to fly again, my sister asks me to be a Godparent for her new son.  Michelle, our three year old, and I are flying out a week earlier than Bart. We change planes in Atlanta, Georgia.

Asking how to get to our connecting flight, because I have never changed planes before. We are directed to a tram which makes me nervous, it is new and scary. Following the crowd we each carry a backpack, a suitcase, and hold hands tightly so we don’t get separated.
Everyone piled onto the tram and I did my best to join them, but Michelle was pulling away, fearing the crowd!

I thought I was successful until the door shut on my daughter’s hand!

Michelle is on the outside but I am holding her hand! “Oh God, what does this mean? What do I do?”

Before I have a chance to scream, the door opens and I pull pull Michelle inside.

God Bless the person I see in the hall with a walkie-talkie! They  saved my daughter! Someone next to me mentions, some places don’t have that person to stop the tram. Relief fills my soul.
A month later, my grandmother dies. I am a bit of a mess, she was my safe place.
I wanted to bring Michelle with me because I am much braver as Mom than just plain me. I am thankful we don’t need to go through Atlanta, but arriving in Chicago we find about real airport stories and snow delays.
Leaving the plane, we find that our connecting flight is canceled. Fear and anxiety rise! My worst nightmare! What do I do?
Thankfully, I find an airport worker who answers my first question and walks me to the line for new tickets.
 We get new tickets and find seats to wait. I am feeling alone and wonder, “Will we make it to the funeral? Did we fly all this way to miss the funeral? What good will that do?”
The seats around us fill up with people waiting for the next flight out, and many are flying to Minneapolis.  Some of the more seasoned flyers start asking questions to get flight information.
Someone hears of a gate that might have a flight out. A group of 30-40 people get up and walk to that gate and wait until someone else finds another tip. Ten or so trips up and down the B corridor tire my body as I carry a back pack, suitcase, and my 3 year old.
Finally, a gate is found actually checking tickets and a line forms. Michelle and I find the back of the line. When I reach the desk, I give them my ticket believing everything is done and we can relax until we are on the plane.
The clerk looks at my ticket and says, “I’m sorry but you have the wrong tickets! You need to go to the back of the line and wait!”

Crushed, I walk to the end of the line. Tears streaming down my face, I am falling apart! Holding tightly onto my daughter I ask, “What am I going to do?”

All of a sudden, a women comes from the front of the line and says, “Remember God!”

Something in me changes, “God is here!” Hope rises.
Immediately, a man walks from the front of the line announcing loudly to everyone, “My ticket is for gate E3!
Quickly I realize that is my ticket and I ask, “Can we go with you?”
Seeing my load he grabs my suitcase and we follow, “Thank you so much for helping! I am on the way to my grandma’s funeral”
He says,”This is my first time back in the states for 10 years.”
Arriving at the gate, we see nothing. No Notice of a plane scheduled to fly, no people to ask questions. We are alone in this huge airport. The three of us sit and wait.
He asks, “Would your husband mind if I rented a car and drove us to Minneapolis?”
“Yes, my husband would be upset. Thank you for offering.”
“I will get some food for you, if you will watch my suitcase.”
“Thank you.”
The minute he is out of sight, I start to worry, “they say” “do not hold a strangers luggage.” Am I in trouble for holding his luggage?
Fear rises and I hear an announcement over the intercom, “The flight to Minneapolis is leaving at gate B23 in 30 minutes!”
Panic! “I gotta go! I need to run! But I said I would watch his luggage! I can’t leave his suitcase!”
The man returns, carrying a tray filled with food.
“I didn’t know what kind of food you would like so I picked up a variety.”
“Thank you!” Both Michelle and I are hungry, but I am leery thinking he could have put something in the food. I think the milk, cereal, and the banana are safe and we eat.
After we eat, he throws the extra food and says, “Will you watch my suitcase again? I want to make arrangements in case this flight doesn’t go.”
“No problem.”
This time I see he is on a phone down the hall. Again the announcement rings out, “The flight to Minneapolis leaves in 10 minutes.” I want to pick up all my stuff and run back to that gate! But, I can’t leave his suitcase!
Finally, he returns and says, “Would you like me to make other arrangements for you?”
“Yes, thank you.”
The minute he leaves, “Last call for the flight to Minneapolis!”
Panic roars, I have to leave! I start to put my things together so I can run, but his suitcase! It is an anchor holding me in place.

He returns and I realize the flight has gone. There is nothing to do but wait and hope this flight will happen.

Hours later a sports team arrives, soon after clerks arrive at the desk. They put up the flight number and time on the board. Things are looking up!
Fight attendants show up allowing us to board the plane. I think it is strange that the man who took care of us walks past us like he never met us, (I have noticed  God will use a person for a moment in time to tell me something or help me and then they go on their life like they never met me). The man has a first class ticket and the only reason I am able to board first is Michelle is only 3.
We sit in the back of the plane hearing talk that we might not have pilots. “Help Jesus!”
Pilots arrive, the plane is cleared of snow and ice. We take off.
My sister and brother meet us at the gate and our luggage is waiting!  Everything is as it should be! We are on time for the funeral and everything worked.
My Loving Heavenly Father sent help!  When I was so stressed I forgot about Him, He sent a person to remind me, “I Am Here!”
Then He sent a man to anchor me, and forced me to wait.
GOD IS GOOD!