Joy Comes in the Morning

Sometimes the morning  is at the end of a difficult season. The title “Joy comes in the morning,” means there is a night. Have you ever had one of those years?

My night started last summer when Grace was loosing weight. She was my cat! She was the one who would come and check on me every time I was outside working in the gardens and she greeted me every time I returned from running. We first thought she was loosing weight like every summer hunting critters in the yard. It turned out to be something different because her weight kept dropping and she refused to eat her food, even when we brought home cans of tasty food.

She breathed her last laying next to me on the couch November 14, 2021, at 11:30 P.M.

In the picture you see Sam laying next to Grace an hour before she left us.

I didn’t get the chance to mourn Grace leaving because Sam, our youngest animal was getting very sick and refused to run or walk.

Sam was getting sick  about the same time Grace started to loose weight. He had  an allergic reaction to both  fleas, the flea medicine, and his food.Who knew allergic reactions could make you sick.

We have always looked for a food he didn’t turn red after eating and found one but realized it had  lots of fillers.

He had no energy. We learned it was a yeast infection in his feet swelling his toes. This spread to his head and eventually to his ears. He was a mess when we first brought him to the veterinarian’s office. We had to sit in the vehicle because of COVID issues, and they came to get him. The Doctor came out to tell me all his problems which I couldn’t under stand because of the mask she wore. We came home with $550 bill and pills.

The pills worked until they were done and the infection came back. We go back to the vet and get more medicine and more money. I think the third  time I was able to go into the office and talk with the vet. She had the thought that we were not giving the medicine and was tempted to not let him go home with me. Fear gripped me as the vet said he had 2 resistant infections going on in his ears.

The forth or fifth time  they had us make a 2 week appointment to check and see that we were giving him his medicine. This brought some relief. Now we just need to keep him healthy.

I Hope and Believe his healing is going to stay healed because Bart found food on line that comes frozen and is suppose to be Good for dogs. He has been on this food for 6-8  weeks and Sam is looking BETTER then he has for years. We are praying his immune system kicks in and fights to keep him healthy without medicine!

Even with Sam going through this, I was starting to work in my flower garden early in the Spring. Hope was trying to rise!

But then we received the phone call. Dad diedThis became  on more strike to try and keep me down. The spring was spent driving to the West Coast twice.

After the funeral, Bart tried all Summer to get me out into my gardens, but I just couldn’t. Have you ever gotten stuck? Have you figured out how to get unstuck?

When it was time to pick raspberries(my favorite fruit of all) I felt physically barred from the raspberries. I had to fight through and invisible barrier that I didn’t understand at all. Picking raspberries brings me joy!

I did push past this thing that was holding me back after talking with my friend who encouraged me. Thankfully the call of the raspberries was stronger than the thing that kept me chained to the house.

HOPE IS RISING!

The vegetable and flower gardens  are waiting for me to join them.

Sam, is looking healthy for the first time in over a year, and he even started to gallop one evening we were running. It forced me to run just a bit faster! I have not seen that for years.

I believe the statement “It will be very difficult for me to work outside without Grace to come and see me.” did affect my ability to move. It is a learning curve to realize how much power the words we speak have power over our lives. It is shocking to see it really be acted out.

So Now I am telling myself it is easy to go outside so is it time to get outside and see what can be accomplished before snow falls. Hope is the thing I have always held onto! It helps me get up every morning and keep believing this next year will be better because I keep learning how to do better.

Do you know how to find HOPE? Ask Jesus!

Praise is the Answer to my Problem

A few weeks ago, I spent the night without the ability to swallow water. It lasted for at least 8 hours. Every time I try to swallow it is like I have to keep swallowing to keep it down, until it doesn’t.

I remember the first time this happened, Bart came to eat lunch with me at McDonald’s during a break from work. I took a bite of a french fry  and it didn’t enter my stomach. It was not a comfortable situation in a restaurant. My first thought was I am glad it stuck below my wind pipe so I could breath. Drinking water helped in the beginning.

My thoughts went to all the times I spent in the hospital with tubes down my throat. It has been a few years, but now that I turned 40 maybe, it was part of life.  After visiting my aunt, I have found that it is something to do with my family history. What really made it come to the forefront is hearing my younger brother and sister have the same problem.

Usually the difficulty is swallowing french fries or dry meat, but that night at dinner the chicken went down and it was the milk that stuck and it took 15 minutes to clear my esophagus so I could continue eating. Later about an hour before bed, I couldn’t swallow water! This is  something different.

Thoughts turn to a friend on Facebook who was not able to drink water for 3 days. I know how important water is to keep infection away, migraines, and for life to continue. I was doing my best to not panic.

After trying for hours to clear my throat, I finally went to bed and tried to sleep. I got about 4 hours sleep but the morning brought no relief.

Fear was trying to creep in.

I sent out text for prayer and I DECIDED to TRUST GOD AND PRAISE HIM because I KNOW worry  will only make it worse.

Learning to Trust God and Praise Him clearing away all my fear! Choosing Joy I put on a Micky Mouse shirt to help me smile! The swallowing returned in the next hour and I PRAISED GOD ALL THE MORE!

GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

Fear vs Trust

How often do you believe a person when they say they will do something for you?

God is exposing my fear of believing people.

My life has been filled with people who I could not trust, but when I found some who where trustworthy, they still messed up.

God is showing me my fear as I play “The legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild” video game. I have become very good at using bow and arrows! The bows break often but I have found a maker of bows who said, “Anytime this bow is damaged or broken come back and I will replace it for you.”

I went back when my bow was damaged and ready to break, he didn’t do anything. I was confused and thought I miss understood again. But when I lost the bow by braking, he replaced it. I have gone back 3 times and I am learning how to trust.

This translates to real life as I experience fear of ordering online to pick up in the store parking lot. I don’t trust they will get what I want or/and they will not be there when scheduled, or they take off with my goods.

God is pushing me to trust that it will work as created to work.

maybe my biggest fear is waiting for a stranger to come up to my vehicle while I sit and wait…Help Jesus help!

When God exposes a weakness He heals it. God is Very Good!

Running versus Anxiety

Sixth grade is when the seed to run is planted. A cross country race in the fall is my first exposure. We are bused to a park near the river, line up and wait. Directions to run are given and we hear Mr. Obie yell, “On your mark, get set, RUN!”

As we take off, the ground rises and falls before us. The whole 6th grade class runs through the trees and over downed branches; the crowd thins out and I notice the cute new boy, Scott. He trips and falls! “Scott, are you OK?”

He responds, “No big deal, Look at this!” He picks up his hand and a stick has pierced it through!

I scream in fear,  other kids yell out, “HELP, MR. OBIE, HELP, WE NEED YOU!!!”

Scott is whisked off to the hospital and the rest of us are told to kept running!

FROM ACCOMPLISHMENT TO REGRET

Spring arrives with Track and Field and a chance to join the relay race. Mr. Obie lined up all the 6th grade girls in a grassy field and told us to RUN, as fast as we can! Four girls and one alternate are chosen to run in the girls relay race for the city wide competition: I am among the 4 fastest!

The day of the race arrives, beautiful and sunny. It is 65 degrees with patchy clouds, and a light Spring breeze, as we walk into the University of North Dakota college outdoor stadium. Mr. Obie says, “Choose a second track and field event and go participate in it.”

Scanning the field and it’s different activities, I respond, “I will try the high jump. How hard could that be?”

Walking down to the field, I join the the back of the line and watch the other participants, hoping to discover what is expected. We are a bunch of 6th grade boys and girls with no instruction, attempt to jump over a bar 4 maybe 5 feet in the air; most of us fail by running into the bar, or knock it to the ground. Just as I witness the first person make it over the bar, a small cloud overhead releases its content and a light rain falls on us.

Finally it is my turn, I run as fast as I can and jump! I didn’t even make it up to the bar, how embarrassing!

Frustrated and not sure where to go, I search the stands and find the group of teachers from Windship grade school. I head towards them and sit down; a light breeze flows through the stadium, it chills my damp body. I start to shiver. Teachers notice me and offer, “Would you like to come sit by us, we can help you warm up.”

I move closer and a teacher puts her arm around me to warm my shivering body.  Another teacher offers, “My pick-up camper it is in the parking lot, I will get a blanket from it.”

My friend Tina arrives, “Mr. Obie sent me to collect you for the relay race!”

Shivering violently, I respond through chattering teeth, “I am too cold to run!”

The teachers discuss my problem, wondering what is wrong. Two or three times someone arrives, trying to get me to join them to run the race; I am paralyzed in fear, not understanding, but also not able to leave the arms of these compassionate women.

The race goes on without me, and my team wins.

Heading home, I think “Mom is in the hospital; I need go to a neighbor’s house after the race.”  As I knock on the door, fear rises, as spring weather threatens. The door opens and I am safe for a while.

Later at home I am overwhelmed and scared, peaking around the corner I see my step-dad arrive from the hospital, “Isn’t Mom coming home, today?”

Dejected, Dad responds, “Not tonight!”

FEAR AND ANXIETY RISE!

Back at school it is awards day, Mr. Obie gives out all the awards and ends up with one extra ribbon for 3rd place.

I ask, “Mr. Obie, can I have the left over ribbon to remember, I could have won!”

Mr. Obie looks at me strangely, and hands it to me.

When Mom arrives home, I ask, “Mom, can I have your hospital bracelet? I want to put it in my scrap book.”  I add 3 things to my 6th grade scrap book, Mom’s hospital bracelet and phone number with the third place ribbon, to remember.

 REGRET

Changes come in Junior High: just before thanksgiving, we move to a smaller town an hour away; not only do I change schools in the middle of 7th grade I return from Christmas break with Scoliosis and a Milwaukee Brace. It extends from my chin to my pelvis, making everything quite difficult and painful: running disappears from my life. I keep to myself alone and afraid.

In 8th grade I make a friend, she shares my locker. When they announce the beginning of girls basketball I ask, “Jennifer, do you think we should join Basketball? It could be fun.”

Jennifer responds, “I don’t know? It might be fun. It is meeting in the math room.”

We start to walk to the first meeting.

About to open the door, Jennifer offers, “Do we want our math teacher teaching us Basketball?”

We Both agree, “NO!” and walk away.

SUCCESS

The Summer before ninth grade, (still in Junior High but also a freshmen in High School)  I endure a spinal fusion and wear a full body cast for 9 months. It comes off in time for me to choose gymnastics for my elective gym class.  I am very flexible and manage to do well even if I have a 12 inch rod holding my spine in place. During my gymnastic test I use my elbows to compensate for my solid spine and succeed in a forward roll, how is that for creative!

 MORE SUCCESS

During my Junior year in college, a friend takes up running to get in shape; it spurs my desire to run again!

I start out in the local neighborhood, probably running only 1/2 a mile at a time.  During summer break I visit my grandma on her farm; foolishly, I decide to run around her block. A country block in Minnesota is a square mile, I take off running and my body quits about half way around the block. I think about taking a shortcut through the fields but am too scared. Worn out, I push myself the rest of the way home.

DELAY

A Major accident during my senior year of college, adds Pain and Weakness; my body no longer has an ability to run. I graduate college and get married, and move on with life. Ten years later, we adopted our daughter; holding her continuously during the first 6 months strengthens my muscles. Meeting my parents at a park I have the desire to run again. I pick up my legs and run for the first time in many years, it is only a parking lot but I am able!

The strive to run, continues for the next 20 years; I often try running as I walk with my family, seldom able to run more than a block at a time and then only on Good Days. In my 40’s, I start to understand my body and it’s weaknesses. A doctor explained that scoliosis surgery caused my weakness; understanding comes as I realize it wasn’t my accident causing me weakness.

My new doctor is good, she listens to my lungs and heart, and tells me I needed to do core exercises: I exercised almost EVERY DAY! One year, I have the desire to ask, “Can atrophied muscles could get stronger?”

Her answer, “they are able to get stronger if they are connected to nerves.”

HEALING LEADS TO MORE SUCCESS

Learning: I exercise to keep the strength that I have, but I am not able to grow muscle. The muscles that I have are weakening with age. My back muscles are so weak and atrophied from the surgery 40 years earlier that I have trouble lifting my right arm above my head; and my limping leg changes from my left side, (my accident) to limping on my right side( my scoliosis surgery). I finally understand why.

With the information that my muscles needed to be connected to my spine by nerves, I asked God to connect them.  A few months later, I get up to check on dinner and  I notice something different  I tell my husband, “I Feel my back for the first time since 76!”

I AM NOW building strength in my back muscles, able to run a mile, often! Soon I am able to connect days together and run 5 days a week! During this same time I Receive 2 instant miracles that take away pain from my accident. I am set free from the 35 years of constant pain: running is much easier!

Today, I am getting stronger every day and running longer distances every year.  Twice I have run a 5k race and my daily run has increased to somewhere around 3-5 miles.  Someday soon I will find a 10k to run and then a 1/2 marathon.

God is Good!