How do I get rid of the thing in my soul that is still living even after I have forgiven, prayed for, and walked in love with?

God has impressed upon me I need to forgive and LOVE the person who controlled me for 45 years. There is still a rage that can surface when I remember the words I heard, “HOW DARE YOU!” and “YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO RESPECT ME!”

Is it a process? Looking in a journal from 2008 I found the question, “Who yelled at me?”

I asked God that question for 10 years. The answer was not in my daily life, but regular visits conditioned me to accept put down’s and yelling as normal! The only reason I knew a problem existed is my home is Filled with PEACE and JOY!

Spending 6 weeks this winter, being caregiver and helping him move, God helped me be Jesus to this broken person. Holy Spirit  worked in me and made me who I needed me to be. The only way I could do this was to spend an hour both in the morning and evening Praising God and praying to WALK IN LOVE, and BE AN EXAMPLE OF GOD’S GRACE! He gave me the ability to walk in Love and hold nothing against him, asking for his salvation.

RETURNING HOME, I found the need to continue spending an hour in Praise and Worship to keep my mind in Love and Grace; not letting it shift to bad thoughts.

So is that the answer?

Let The Word of God wash my soul and get back to Praise and Worship and The Word of God?

LORD HELP ME not short my time with Jesus?

When we accept Jesus as our savior, we become new creations (Gal 6:15; 2Cor 5:17); God makes our spirit alive and Holy Spirit lives in us to be our guide and much more. (2Cor 3:17).

This exchange of Jesus taking our sin nature (Col 2:14) and giving us His Righteous nature (Gal 3:11,14; 2 Cor 5:17), moves us from living by our senses to living and walking by Faith (2 Cor 5:7).

With our spirit made new, God living inside each of us, our job is to laying aside the old self, and put on the new self (Col 3:9-10; Eph 4:22,24) by renewing the spirit of our minds (Eph 4:23; 2 Cor 3:18)!

One way we are renewing our mind is by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2Cor 10:3-5), our outer person is decaying, yet our inner person is being renewed day by day as we change our sight to the unseen (2Cor 4:16-18), not rejoicing in unrighteousness, but rejoicing with the truth (1 Cor 13:6).

God is LOVE; we who abide in LOVE abide in God, and God abides in us, and in this LOVE is perfected, as He is so are we in this world            (1John 4:16,17).

So do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that we may prove what is the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (Rom 12:2).

There is no fear in LOVE; but perfect LOVE casts out fear, because fear involves punishment (Jesus took our punishment), and the one who fears is not perfected in LOVE (1John 4:18)!

After returning home from being caretaker, selling your home of 38 years, packing, and moving you to your new home; God dropped a Word into my heart.

He Said, “Your dad could not have treated you the way he did, without allowing Jesus into his heart.”

Romans 10:9-10 says if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness , and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

I believe as you watched me walk in Love; Pray and Worship God daily: you Received Jesus as your savior and LORD!

Galatians 5:20 says the deeds of the flesh include outbursts of anger. This is the issue that God is working to discontinue in both of us.

God tamped down my outbursts of anger; making way for me to walk by the Spirit, producing the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

You saw much of the fruit in action with little flesh.

God helped you walked in love with me most of the 6 weeks we were there and even prompting you to apologized for raising your voice, this is evidence of the Spirit working in you.

I want you to know that when you die you will go to be with Mom in heaven because you accepted Jesus as your savior. You will join Mom in the cloud of witnesses, as Hebrews 12:1 talks about.

After Mom died I felt closer to her; we were more connected because she is in the cloud of witnesses surrounding us.

God Bless you with the Joy of the Spirit in your every day life. Amen.

I Corinthians 13:5  LOVE does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong!

Walking in LOVE transforms fear and bravado into kindness.

Tonight, I offered to play cards with, “the man who yelled at me.” I injected Blessings with every word I spoke, suggesting the game was for friendship and enjoyment of companionship. Who cares who wins? or being skunked? We are spending time together getting to know one another.

He struggled a bit with the concept: beating the other person has been inbred into his soul; but he didn’t reject it, he actually smiled and laughed a bit.

I imparted God’s Word: God set before us Life and Death: He gives us the answer: CHOOSE LIFE and EVERY WORD THAT WE SPEAK BRINGS WITH IT LIFE OR DEATH.

He said, “card games don’t count! They are separate.”

I responded, “Every word spoken leads to Life or Death! You can lift people up and Bless them even in a card game! Isn’t Joy and Laughter better than a curse?”

Live Life! Live Love! Speak Life! Speak Love! See How it transforms your life!

God is Good!

God is Very Good!

Traveling West 5000 miles round trip for the 6th time in 2 years, one the year before: we know the rest stops by heart, and the dogs have learned it is a LONG WAY so sleep!

In the middle of the trip is my favorite rest stop; a place to relax and walk up a big hill and take in the Beautiful sights!

Depending on which direction we are heading, into or out of Wyoming we are either preparing for Wind or taking a break from the wind and in January the blowing snow!

God is Good and has Kept us Safe each time through! One step at a time!

God Bless each of you this day! Amen!

It is January, I need to drive West to spend the last days with my mom. We need food and prescriptions for the 2500 mile trip. As I wait for my prescription, Mom appears in my mind. No time for shopping, I need to get home. Paying for the prescription, I leave.

I walk in the door and Bart is leaving, “I have some errands to run, be back later!”

“A text arrived from my sister, it is a picture of my mom, she looks dead already!”

“Sorry, I will be back soon!”

Believing my mom can hang on, I hope! Twenty minutes later another text comes. She is gone.

WHAT DO I DO?  I am alone 2500 miles from family. WHAT DO I DO? My sister calls, “The pastor is here and he wants to know, what is the most important thing about Mom?”

“SHE CAME AND FOUND US!!!!!!”

*****

Forty-seven years earlier, my friend says, “It looks like you are moving.”

“NO, WE AREN’T!” I turn and see a U-Haul behind a station wagon and my dad is packing. Very soon I am in the third seat, leaning out the window saying goodbye, “I will write to you!”

Dad says, “NO, YOU WON’T!”

Everyone is in the car except…  “Where’s Mom?”