The Word of God is a Healing Balm
When I met Jesus at 19 years old, He filled me with HOLY SPIRIT, LOVE, and JOY. This started my healing process which continues to this day 40+ years later.
A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit, Proverbs 15:4B
The father that raised me the first 8 years of my life looked for excitement daily making me in my mom’s words “daddies little girl!”
The exciting man caught my mom’s attention because she was raised on a farm 10 miles from a small town in Northern Minnesota. This was back in the 40’s and 50’s. I believe she attended a one room school house a few miles from home for the first 8 years before graduating to riding the bus into town for high school.
My mom was special. She was the youngest of 4 children for her first 8 years before her younger sister was born. Mom was the only blonde in any of the family’s history. That was a big enough deal for me to hear about it often during my childhood.
Mom went away to college and found a man who would take her out to pizza and spaghetti and Dad found a beautiful sexy blonde. These are the reasons they married. How could this go wrong?
Dad came from an alcoholic family and did everything the alcoholic did except drink alcohol. We spent many summers living in tents with a river as the fridge and my brother and I wore life jackets to keep us safe. Dad would go into town to make money and have a life leaving us in the tent for the summer.
When we rented houses Mom said, “It seemed every time I made a friend we moved.” The other thing Mom said, “It seemed that facts and truth always change.” does that sound like lies being covered up? Or the need for control?
There was one night Dad didn’t come home and Mom called the police and he was escorted home. He never stayed out late again.
They have both gone to heaven and letters Dad kept his whole life have been sent to our family. Reading the letters and the court document from the divorce and child custody case are starting to make sense. He talked the talk. One couple agreed with his talk so much they gave him money to take us kids and his mistress and her three kids on a trip from hell. All to leave my mom and to keep the kids. Mom had to pack up and move home to her mom and dad.
My dad wrote on the court document that since his parents didn’t agree with his plan he would just lie to them. Those letters have no hint of deceit that I can find. He was a good liar.
There were some consequences of his behavior:
He was kicked out of the teaching department in college so he didn’t finish the degree.
He introduced a sexual predator into his children lives traumatizing us.
In case life wasn’t exciting enough he chooses to offer me to Satan in a worship service ending with sex party. This was so horrendous my mind had to protect it’s self and I returned to a 7 year old in every scary situation or an unfamiliar social gathering.
When I was 14 he sent a letter telling me I was of the age to choose where I wanted to live. Fear filled me and we kids acted so strange Mom told him to stop contacting us.
He couldn’t keep a job or a wife.
He didn’t want to experience the consequences of his actions so he ran until God got a hold of him. God settled him down and he had a good life for the last20-30 years of his life.
The one thing God tried to get from him was a confession of messing up our lives but he couldn’t repent and submit so God did not allow me to visit him in later life. It wasn’t safe.
One last result of his lies, I tell the truth to the extreme. God is teaching me how to soften my truth.
But a healing tongue is a tree of life. Proverbs 15:4
The healing tongue came with my husband who called me lady when we met. My husband has never said a unkind word in my presence or about me. He always lifts me up and put a smile on my face. He has taken care of me and protect me all the years I was afraid of life. Now he is learning how to help me grow.
The other person was Joyce Meyer who taught me how to forgive, to give all my worries to God and leave them there, to change my self talk to I am the righteousness of God in Jesus and I am the beloved, I am redeemed, I am LOVED BY GOD, I am taken up and adopted by God.
God gave me the 27th Psalm which has protection, LOVE AND ADORATION, adoption, lifting me up and giving me knowledge that everything will work out for my good here on this earth.
In 2010 God put us in a church that knows how to care for people and accept us in our mess and help us change and grow into the person God intends for us to be.
In 2012 God set me free from the nightmare that kept me safe as a child. I was 50 years old. I have been spending the last 15 years growing as a person, learning boundaries, becoming an adult who doesn’t shut down when confronted with authority, and many other things such as this blog.
27 Psalm
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.
Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear; Though war arise against me, In spite of this I shall be confident.
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD, And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; In the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me; And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing, yes I will sing praises to the LORD.
Hear, O LORD, WHEN I cry with my voice, And be gracious to me and answer me. When Thou didst say, “Seek My face,” my heart said to Thee, “Thy face, O LORD, I shall seek.”
Do not hide Thy face from me, Do not turn Thy servant away in anger; Thou hast been my help; Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the LORD will take me up.
Teach me Thy way, O LORD, And lead me in a level path, Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
