Category: Updates

Praise is the Answer to my Problem

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A few weeks ago, I spent the night without the ability to swallow water. It lasted for at least 8 hours. Every time I try to swallow it is like I have to keep swallowing to keep it down, until it doesn’t.

I remember the first time this happened, Bart came to eat lunch with me at McDonald’s during a break from work. I took a bite of a french fry  and it didn’t enter my stomach. It was not a comfortable situation in a restaurant. My first thought was I am glad it stuck below my wind pipe so I could breath. Drinking water helped in the beginning.

My thoughts went to all the times I spent in the hospital with tubes down my throat. It has been a few years, but now that I turned 40 maybe, it was part of life.  After visiting my aunt, I have found that it is something to do with my family history. What really made it come to the forefront is hearing my younger brother and sister have the same problem.

Usually the difficulty is swallowing french fries or dry meat, but that night at dinner the chicken went down and it was the milk that stuck and it took 15 minutes to clear my esophagus so I could continue eating. Later about an hour before bed, I couldn’t swallow water! This is  something different.

Thoughts turn to a friend on Facebook who was not able to drink water for 3 days. I know how important water is to keep infection away, migraines, and for life to continue. I was doing my best to not panic.

After trying for hours to clear my throat, I finally went to bed and tried to sleep. I got about 4 hours sleep but the morning brought no relief.

Fear was trying to creep in.

I sent out text for prayer and I DECIDED to TRUST GOD AND PRAISE HIM because I KNOW worry  will only make it worse.

Learning to Trust God and Praise Him clearing away all my fear! Choosing Joy I put on a Micky Mouse shirt to help me smile! The swallowing returned in the next hour and I PRAISED GOD ALL THE MORE!

GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

Knowing God

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 I chose God over Satan when I was 8 years old and I was excited to get to KNOW HIM; in 5th grade I took communion for the first time and I was FILLED WITH JOY, but was immediately chastised for the joy I had.

“You are suppose to be serious not joyful!”

Life became much more difficult after that, I remember reading my Bible and finding this thing I was doing was  not good and God didn’t approve. I took note and tried to stop, (I needed Jesus to help, but I didn’t know I could ask). Around that time, I remember asking God if  it was ok to use His name in vain to blend in. He was silent.

The next God moment happened when I moved back to North Dakota for college and saw in others something I wanted and God was very Happy to accommodate this desire and He Filled me with His Joy and LOVE overflowing like I was dumped in a bucket of LOVE. My desire since then has been to tell everyone how wonderful God IS!

A few years later after being married and hearing things on the radio that helped me grow in God, the desire to Know Him as Enoch grew. I wanted to KNOW HIM and be taken up to be with God. It was probably around this point that I found Psalm 27:4 the one thing I ask from the LORD, that I may seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE TO BEHOLD THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD and to MEDITATE in HIS TEMPLE!”

This verse calls to my spirit and Fills me with Joy. It almost takes me to Heaven Filled up in Love!

Many years later I was in a class and we were talking about forgiveness . Writing a listing of who we needed to forgive, The teacher asked, “Why didn’t you put God down as someone who you need to forgive?”

I answered, “He is the only one who has never done me wrong!”

Around this time I had come to the place where I realized my mother and father treated me badly because they didn’t understand how sexual abuse changed me and changed my needs. They didn’t have it in them to give. So I needed to forgive them for what they could not give and this verse became real to me!

Psalm 27:10 “Father and Mother have forsaken me but The LORD will take me up.” God covers the broken parts and heals us as no one else!

Psalm 27: 1-4 Learning Trust

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When I was eight years old my mom gave me my first Bible and taught me the 23rd Psalm. I carried it with me for years!

About 20 years later I split my intestines  and ended up with a blood infection, I found it lacking. Returning home after the hospital stay, I searched the Psalms for something that could do what I need in times of trouble and It was just a few chapters away.

The first thing that caught my attention was verse 27:4;

“the one thing I ask from the LORD, that I may seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE TO BEHOLD THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD and to MEDITATE in HIS TEMPLE!”

Little did I know it would carry me through my whole life!

When Bart’s job was in trouble the first three verses helped:

“The LORD is my light and my salvation, Whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?

When evildoers came upon me to devour my flesh, My adversaries and my enemies they stumbled and fell!

Though a host encamp against me My heart will not fear; though war arise against me IN SPITE OF THIS I SHALL BE CONFIDENT!”

These verses where enough for probably twenty more years! They carried me through until God decided to give me 5 new vertebrae in the middle of a CT Scan. I was meditating on these verses when all of a sudden the pain quit and I asked God, “what’s up?”

I walked out of the hospital with no pain.

I will continue the story of the 27th Psalm later this week.

God Bless You and try meditating on this Psalm or find one that helps you!

Forty Years IN Jesus

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September 17, 2021, marks the 40th anniversary of my walking with Jesus.

It started when my family moved West to Oregon: even though I had completed one year of college I was not ready to live on my own, so I moved with them.It only took one summer for me to realize I could not live there with them so I took a train back to the University of North Dakota.

Isn’t it like God to make things feel so uncomfortable that we have to move to the next area God has planned. The fear of changing and living on my own was less scary than staying in a very uncomfortable place.

Once back at school I contacted Jill, the friend I had made my freshman year.  She was a Christian who lived across the hall going out to sing every week. I know now that God gave me the desire to ask, “Can I join your group?”

She took me to the first Folk Group meeting of the new school year. We did a Bible Study, “Out of the Salt Shaker,” then we were asked to write what we believed the goal of the group was.

Before breaking to go back to the dorm we prayed as a group popcorn prayer. I noticed they had something I didn’t have. As they prayed, I told God, “I want what they have.”

God filled me instantly with JOY and LOVE I had never known before and He gave me a desire to devour the Bible! I wanted to tell everyone what I have found!

What I wrote for a goal was how I wanted to tell everyone about this LOVE I was filled with; they thought it wasn’t the kind of goal they were asking for, but they counted it as becoming Born Again, a new believer in Jesus.

I grew up in church, was baptized, went to Sunday school, confirmation, and was confirmed. I had a Bible and tried to read it but couldn’t keep it going. The 23rd Psalm was something I knew because my mom helped me memorize when I was 8 years old. My Grandma read Bible to us every night when we lived with her, but at home Mom only prayed before meals and at bed time until we were of age, and she brought us to church.

What did Jill do that drew me in to see something more than just going to church?

Jill didn’t condemn me for my life style, but she walked in LOVE and ACCEPTANCE. She told me of a better way to live but didn’t push, just gave information. I am sure she prayed for me and she invited me to join her to do some fun things.

When I returned to school and I asked to join her, Jill took me to Folk Group and introduced me to IVCF. I found out I could have fun without drinking. People accepted me and LOVED me even when I wanted to run away because I didn’t know how to be accepted. They nurtured me and discipled me until my accident, (but that is another story)

God has been teaching me how to be a friend; apologize if I overstep my bounds, not judge lifestyle, walk alongside people, and build them up in Jesus. He has defiantly been teaching me how to Love and Forgive the unlovable and realize most people act the way they do out of hurt or pain.

God wants to use you to show His LOVE!

DO YOU KNOW HIS LOVE? IF NOT JUST ASK AND HE WILL FILL YOU AS HE FILLED ME!

GOD IS GOOD! GOD IS VERY GOOD! GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!

 

Entering the Rest of God

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What do you think of when you hear, “The Rest of God?”

I think of it as Peace in the most tumultuous situation.  Reading Hebrews 4:1-2 it talks about the rest of God but it says those who don’t have it don’t mix faith with the words they hear preached.

The first time I found the Rest Of God was about 25 years ago when I learned how to bring all my worries to God and leave them there. Learning how to Trust God with everything, for a short while I became bored. My brain used to be filled with thoughts, worries, and fears: now I was able to choose what to think.

This was the beginning of listening to the words that cycled through my brain when depression or fear arose.  I learned how to catch the bad thoughts of “I talked to much” or “nobody likes me”  and  “I do everything wrong” to  kick them out of my brain.

I replace the bad words with God’s words in my mouth and speak out loud “I am LOVED BY GOD” and “I am the Righteousness of God in Jesus” and “I am treasured!”

This was a battle I had to fight daily and it took 20 years before I really got good at it.

The real breakthrough came when God showed me “my shame”so He could take it away!

When He did that it exposed what I believed all my life at least since I was 7 years old. The thought in my subconscious mind  was “I am garbage.” With this thought out in the open my life started to really change. Just ask my husband.

What my story really shows is that when a person believes God and His Word they put it into action. That is probably what James is talking about Faith without works is dead. I could attach scripture to each of these actions.

I believed God!

I acted on His Word!

My life changed!

Eating Communion Rightly

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I have asked God for many years what does this mean?

1 Corinthians 11:29b, “eating and drinking judgement to himself if he does not judge the body rightly.”

God dropped the meaning into my soul, it is the righteousness that Jesus purchased for us.

When we think of ourselves with a sin nature then we are connected to the curse (sickness and poverty). This is what Jesus came to set us free from. But when we grow in sanctification we walk in the Blessing, (healing and Goodness of God overtake you) found in Deuteronomy 28, Jesus died to fulfilled the Law so we are able to receive righteousness.

In the Lutheran Church we confessed each week that “we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves.” It took 20 years for The Word of God to grow in my soul teaching me to stop confessing that I am in bondage to sin! God says in Romans 6:6 our old self was crucified with Christ, that our body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.

I quit confessing that I am a sinner because I know I am a saint who has been set free from sin and death and raised to righteousness by the death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ and Lord of my life.

Isaiah 53:5 But He was pierced through for our transgressions He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him and by His scourging we are healed!

1 Peter 2:24 He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness, for by His wounds we were healed.

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus
Romans 8:2 For the law of the Spirit and life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death!

I live my life in the righteousness of Jesus the Christ growing in the Blessing as I become more and more as Jesus Is here on this earth. Come join me learning how to live healed. Amen!

Jesus Is The Better Offering

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One day last week God Prompted me to open my Bible to Leviticus 6, guilt offerings. The question He ask, “How were they convicted of guilt without the Holy Spirit?”
Is this why God had to give the Law so they would know they were not acting well?

Leviticus 6 When a person sins and acts unfaithfully against the LORD and deceives…or lies… then it shall be, when he sins and becomes guilty, that he shall restore what he took plus 1/5 and give a guilt offering to the LORD. The question is still how does he become guilty?
After they become guilty they need to repay and give the offering that gets rid of the guilt for one year. Did they actually feel free of guilt? Did the guilt come back when the year was up? Did they have to offer another guilt offering for the next year?

I remember in high school reading the Bible and being convicted of a sin. I believe it was Holy Spirit speaking to me, pointing out something I knew wasn’t good but it wasn’t until I actually saw it in print I was convicted. The problem was I stopped but still felt the guilt for 30 years!

It was in my late 30’s when God impressed upon me, “Jesus already paid! I didn’t have to pay!”
I now live guilt FREE, and shame FREE!

Jesus died to take all my sin and to give me His Righteousness!
Romans 10:4 “for Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.” Romans 5:17b “much more those who receive the abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness will weigh in life though the One, Jesus Christ.”

The greatness of Jesus’ guilt offering is it is a one time gift for all time!

Anything Done without Faith is Sin: Romans 14:23b

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My pastor has been teaching, “Walking in the dust of the Rabbi.” What does that look like here on this earth, where the feet and dust of Jesus cannot be physically touched?

Several years ago, in a Bible study a different pastor accused me of being in an unhealthy love with my Bible on three separate occasions.

I didn’t know how to respond, but God gave me the answer through BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) question of the week. The answer is, “I Love my Bible because IT shows me WHO GOD IS.”

What Has my Bible shown me: The God Who Loved me became human to show me how to LOVE. When He left earth, He sent Holy Spirit to be the same guide to me as He was to Jesus. My goal is to learn the voice Holy Spirit uses to communicate, and obey.

A few years ago, we took the RV on a 5000mile trip for my mom’s January funeral.  We drove through snowstorms and deep snow on the way there. Not finding many places to camp in the middle of winter, we learned how to use rest stops.

As we start the return trip, Bart wants to get some road behind him before we stop.
When I start driving, we are in the Eastern Columbia River Gorge. The snow blowing ahead makes me wonder, “Should we stop and make food?”

Bart gets ready to sleep and says, “We should pass the first exit and stop at the second one.”

Driving 70 MPH through the mountain passes, I have the impression God wants me to stop at this first rest stop. I debate knowing to quickly pull over in this 25foot RV will not be easy. Do I listen and obey what I think God is impressing on me, or Bart’s desire to keep driving?

The decision is made quickly, as I pass the turn off.

Apologizing I ask, “God, did you want me to stop to keep us safe from the storm we are driving into?”

God responds, “No, I had someone for you to talk to.”

Tears fill my eyes as I say, “Oh God, Forgive me! Send someone else to talk to whoever You had for me to talk to!” Regret fills my soul as I pray for that person remembering all the times God has put people into my life to lift my spirits and let me know someone cares.

I pray daily, “Holy Spirit fill me! Put your Word in my mouth and meditations in my heart, Oh LORD, MY ROCK AND REDEEMER! Help me follow YOUR Guidance daily! Amen!”

Love Covers

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Jesus came to bring Love and Forgiveness, not to expose our faults.

Twenty years ago I heard someone talk about offense and how we are not to take any. I didn’t know what an offense was so I asked God, “What is offense?”

Later that day, our neighbor came over to return something. As she talked about life she added, “I don’t like your daughter.”

My thought, “How could you not like my daughter, this sweet girl that everyone likes?”

God said, “That is offense!”

I knew I needed to forgive this woman and quickly. “LORD HELP ME FORGIVE THIS WOMAN, and BLESS her, help me walk in Love with her Jesus!”

By the time she left, I had forgiven and the bad feeling left. I didn’t say anything, but she might have seen an expression on my face, (my face shows all).

I still remember, but I don’t hold it against her and any time it might come to my mind I will pray, “God Bless her and

In 2 Corinthians 5:17-6:3, talks about reconciliation and ends with giving no cause for offense that the ministry of Christ be discredited.

When working to reconcile, we don’t expose all the garbage that tore us apart. God sent Jesus to be a man; and to be our lamb to cover our sin, and pay the price needed to set us free from sin and death. God doesn’t tell us everything we did wrong before He invites us into a relationship. He covers our mistakes until a time when we are ready to receive Forgiveness and Grace.

God LOVED me for 15 years before I was ready to hear that I needed to change.

HOLY SPIRIT knew when I was healed enough to receive a word from Him, He said, “You are rebellious!” This sent me to a prayer I wrote minutes before my accident.

For the next 15 years Holy Spirit would prompt me to do or not do something, to set me free from my rebellious spirit.

God has given us the commandment to LOVE God, LOVE our neighbor, and LOVE our enemies. I think that includes everyone. In 1 Corinthians 13:5b,7 says, “LOVE doesn’t take into account a wrong. LOVE Bears all things, Believes all things, Hopes all things, and Endures all things.”

Luke 6:37-38, “Do not judge and you will not be judged; do not condemn and you will not be condemned; pardon and you will be pardoned. Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, they will be poured into your lap. For however you measure it will be measured to you in return.”

This is something I will be working on until the day Jesus takes me up, but in Jesus, I have made great strides! For some reason I used to judge people with tattoos until my daughter wanted one, and people who looked or acted like someone I knew, or people who’s house is run down with trees growing out of their gutters.

I have learned to pray for these people as soon as I hear that judgment enter my mind. Some people get many more prayers than other depending on the amount of judgement in my heart.

My goal for life is in Philippians 4:6-8

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with Thanksgiving let my requests be made known to God. And the Peace of God…guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

So, whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, of good repute, if there is any excellence anything worthy of praise, let my mind dwell on these things.

This makes it hard to watch the news, but it sure makes it easier to sleep.

God Bless you.

Being Set Free From Condemnation

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I have come to Love Romans 8:1, “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

It took many years for me to find the Blessing in this, but it is a wonderful place to live and I plan on living here for the rest of my life.

I wonder how many people believe Jesus is their savior and Lord but still feel condemnation?

Jesus has been my savior and sometimes my Lord for at least 30 years. I chose Jesus when I was 8 years old in my grandma’s church.  Years later, when when I truly left home God Filled me at a Bible study in college. Rising at the end of the first Bible study we stopped after putting on coats to hold hands and pray. This was something very different from anything I have ever experienced.  “I KNOW they have something I don’t.” I prayed, “God, I want what they have!”

HE ANSWERED, “YES!”

GOD FILLED ME with HIS LOVE AND JOY. This came with a great desire to study His Word! I believe it is like Holy Spirit filling people in the Bible.

Years later, while doing a Bible study in 2011, God showed me, “my shame!”  This process of exposing my shame and bringing it into the open brought out pain. As I felt the pain and cried over what was, Jesus set me free from it.

What I lived, but couldn’t speak was, “I am garbage, I have no say, and anyone can use or treat me however they want.” I dressed in baggy clothes and watched tv to hide myself in other’s people’s stories.

When God set me free, everything about me changed. It isn’t a one and done process: it continues still today. Having been set free from condemnation I quickly recognize when it tries to return.

What helped me to grow in freedom is knowing, I am righteous in Jesus. He took all my shame, guilt, and condemnation! He gave me His Righteousness! In Romans 12:1-2 and elsewhere God says, “Be transformed by renewing your mind!” This is something we partner with Him in!

My process is to realize when a bad thought is tormenting me, for example, (I did it again or I said the wrong thing, or I talked too much or I messed up and they will probably never talk to me again!) I literally say, “Bad thoughts go away! I am a child of God! I am the righteousness of God in Christ! I AM LOVED! I AM THE BELOVED!

I continue to say this until I am at Peace. I strive to stay in Peace because it feels GOOD, and it is part of the Kingdom of God! Romans 14:17 For the Kingdom of God is not eating or drinking but, righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit!

Come and enter in, it is Very Good! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!