At the end of my 9th year of life my mom married her second husband who eventually adopted us: he wanted to hug me and have me reciprocate. What he received was a loud scream!

Mom asked, “Has he done anything?”

I had to respond, “no.”

Mom responded, “You are not aloud to scream when he hugs you.”

HE hadn’t done anything inappropriate but I didn’t want to be hugged: the problem was she didn’t ask the next question!

One day that first summer, I approached mom after dad returned to work: I said, “Mom, now that you are married and don’t have to work anymore, you can spend time with me.” She stood there with a look of shock on her face: the next thing I knew she had gotten a job selling Tupperware.

While my mom was visiting us in 2012 she confessed to me the thought that ran through her head at that moment was,

“What have I done!?” (her first husband our dad had kidnapped us)

Sadly, I walk away, realizing I could not trust her! ( I needed her )

Our disconnect showed up a day in 7th grade; my mom was going to pick me up after school, by the light pole, because she was going to be out and about that day. Waiting after school for my mom, feeling insecure, and thinking people were watching me; I walked home. I truly thought I could get home faster than it would take for her to arrive.

Mom told me that she was frantic looking for me; not finding me, she even went into the school, to my locker, asking kids about me, and didn’t find me! I understand now that she was having fear of kidnapping: a flashback to the day she arrived home and everyone was gone!

Soon after that we moved to a new town during my first semester of 7th grade; within weeks of moving we found I had scoliosis: I returned from Christmas brake with a Milwaukee Brace. My mom drove me 90 miles every 2 months to have my spine checked; unbeknownst to my mom, I played sex games with my barbies on the floor of car as she tried to talk to me: I ignored her.

One spring or summer day goofing off with my brother, my mom walked into the garage and asked, “Would you like to talk to a counselor?” not responding, I stood there shocked and unsure; thinking, “What did she want me to do or say?” (This is years before I told her I about my sexual abuse.)

She waited for a moment and said, “If you won’t talk to me, you won’t talk to a counselor!” and she walked out.

How many people live this disconnect everyday of their lives? People injured reacting to their injures and causing more injury to  the people they love the most. WHAT IS THE ANSWER? JESUS AND THE BIBLE!!!! LISTEN AND OBEY!!!