I chose God over Satan when I was 8 years old and I was excited to get to KNOW HIM; in 5th grade I took communion for the first time and I was FILLED WITH JOY, but was immediately chastised for the joy I had.
“You are suppose to be serious not joyful!”
Life became much more difficult after that, I remember reading my Bible and finding this thing I was doing was not good and God didn’t approve. I took note and tried to stop, (I needed Jesus to help, but I didn’t know I could ask). Around that time, I remember asking God if it was ok to use His name in vain to blend in. He was silent.
The next God moment happened when I moved back to North Dakota for college and saw in others something I wanted and God was very Happy to accommodate this desire and He Filled me with His Joy and LOVE overflowing like I was dumped in a bucket of LOVE. My desire since then has been to tell everyone how wonderful God IS!
A few years later after being married and hearing things on the radio that helped me grow in God, the desire to Know Him as Enoch grew. I wanted to KNOW HIM and be taken up to be with God. It was probably around this point that I found Psalm 27:4 the one thing I ask from the LORD, that I may seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE TO BEHOLD THE BEAUTY OF THE LORD and to MEDITATE in HIS TEMPLE!”
This verse calls to my spirit and Fills me with Joy. It almost takes me to Heaven Filled up in Love!
Many years later I was in a class and we were talking about forgiveness . Writing a listing of who we needed to forgive, The teacher asked, “Why didn’t you put God down as someone who you need to forgive?”
I answered, “He is the only one who has never done me wrong!”
Around this time I had come to the place where I realized my mother and father treated me badly because they didn’t understand how sexual abuse changed me and changed my needs. They didn’t have it in them to give. So I needed to forgive them for what they could not give and this verse became real to me!