Depression seeks to steal my life!
It has taken two hours of hunting for summer running clothes, only to find I have none that fit. The sudden rise in temperature has taken me by surprise! I don’t want to wear the warm running shorts meant for the cool spring temperatures.
I resort to cutting the elastic waistband,
but it doesn’t work!
This forces me to wear my warm shorts because they are loose enough. Rolling the legs up helps me stay as cool enough.
The shock of my body size is exposing how long it’s been since I’ve run regularly. I’m remembering in 2017 when I was running 10 miles I had a hard time with pants falling off, this is quite the opposite problem.
It seems every time I start succeeding life interrupts and it feels like I am start over.
Fitting into my clothes has been a see-saw experience, clothes fit one day but not the next. FRUSTRATING!
It is a daily fight to keep pushing to succeed! I have to hold on to every inch of life, fighting to stay out of depression.
Hope Rises! June 4, my run is a consistent 4 mph!
The Runkeeper app announces my speed at 14mm, or 4.1 mph! This is better than I have run for a long time. Most of my runs have been in the 18-22mm or 3 mph.
Fifteen years ago Charlie was a young dog with lots of energy that needed to be used. When I took him running I learned how to keep up.
Finally, I realize I am not going to gain speed with my two older dogs who want to stop and smell all the smells.
Today, I am getting comfortable without having a dog to keep me company and being my protection. It is forcing me to push out earlier than sunset so I am able to run the 2 miles in daylight.
Now it is my body I fight against and the heat.
My first decision to getting stronger is to run the length of the rows and stop at the end to catch my breath.
The 14mm doesn’t count the rest time because I pause the app.
In July, two rows connect without stopping!
These are my high points. There are days in between when my body says,
“All you are getting today is a run/walk!”
Then there are days my body says,
“No running at all! You can barely walk! Good luck on getting 10,000 steps!”
August 21 my body runs one mile without stopping!
The continuous run of 15:44 is the first one in years.
Bonus: I can now fit into my skinny summer running shorts!
Today, pain says,
“Stay on the couch!”
But I decide it is time to move and push past the pain and outside to weed the flowers I cry out,
“Help, Jesus! Help!”
Sometimes the movement causes pain. But I keep going, knowing it is important and I still want to get my 10,000 steps. Working in the flowers pulling grass makes me smile! Pulling weeds also loosens my body enough to walk, finishing my 10,000 steps.
Last spring as I was stepping outside to run, I heard God say,
“Thirty days!”
That month I made 29 days but day 30 I could not move off the couch. The months since that day have been 5 to 10 day stretches.
Something seems different about August 1, 2025, and so far things are moving in the correct direction. I have a 26 day streak of 10,000 steps, so I need 4 more days. Believing the next step is a 30 day streak of running every day!
“Help Jesus Help!”
Life will start to change: my body will be strong, and my confidence will grow!
“Help Jesus! Help”
I experienced this 15 years ago and I believe God is moving again!
“Thank You! Jesus! Amen.”
