Category: Walking by the Spirit

Does forgiving someone mean you have to reconcile?

Forgiveness has much to do with taking no offense, not making a person pay you back but letting God deal with them. Letting go of making them pay you back, because they probably cannot pay you back what was taken. It is also cutting the ties that bind you to them, if you are not thinking of how to get back what was stolen you are free to live your life.

Reconciliation is restoring a damaged relationship. If a relationship has no hope to be building you up, or treating you as one loved; it is probably best to not keep it, or at least keep it at a distance and protect your heart.

Love is Patient, kind, and does not take into account a wrong suffered. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things! 1 Corinthians 13.

Years ago our pastor suggested the congregation sit in the quiet and ask God, “Who do I need to forgive?”

I was proud and thought, “I don’t need to forgive anyone!” I was wrong!

God surprised me by dropping my step-dad into my heart. I didn’t understand what I needed to forgive. Over time God revealed the pain, but that is a story for a different time.

After Mom died, Dad needed a caregiver and help deciding to sell the house. God set me up to have the time and energy to be there. Fear filled me as we drove West to help because I could not live in the angry and loud atmosphere, BUT GOD!

Holy Spirit showed me how to walk in LOVE with this man.

This resulted in changing Dad.

He apologized for the very first time and changed enough for me to enjoy being around him. Weeks later, God told me Dad couldn’t have changed without receiving Jesus as his savior.

Years earlier while I was in college, I had the desire to connect with my biological father. I had a plan to meet him over Christmas break. God had other plans. He brought me home to meet Bart, who became my husband.

Bart took me to see my dad before we were married.  I learned my memories of life with him were true and I did not feel safe.  Thirty years later, I have forgiven and prayed for him until I could be nice over e-mail and not have bad thoughts or feelings. The desire to see him is natural and I have tried, but God has blocked it.

This has brought much contemplation and prayer.  I decided my dad has never apologized or admitted any wrong doing. How can I have a true relationship with him when he does not admit causing any pain?

What I know, if God wanted me to meet him again He would have opened the door: instead God closed the door.

Jesus said, if someone hits you across your cheek to give them the other cheek. He says to show Love not anger, but He may not want you to be in a close relationship for your safety.

Walking in Love is being humble, strength under control. Jesus had his life threatened many times but God kept Him safe until it was time for Him to lay down his life.

My pastor’s sermon last Sunday mentioned that troubled families have an atmosphere of, “don’t feel,” and “don’t talk,” and especially “don’t trust.”

I lived this but didn’t know  we were different. From the outside we look like the perfect family.

In 2013, I flew to Oregon to help my mom after surgery. My sister drove me to Portland to pick up a rental car and we met our brother for lunch. I was 50 years old and it was the first time the three of us sat together alone, without spouses, parents, or children taking our attention.

We talked for the first time about the things that happened back in 1969-1973. The conversation  centered around what happened. We never gotten around to how we feel about what happened. The waitress heard enough to think  we could be talking about a movie.

God started to open my eyes in 2017 to our family dynamics!  I tried to communicate what I was understanding, but my parents couldn’t deal with the emotions and changed the topic saying, “Shall we play cards?”

This is the point texted a friend realizing, “My family is nuts!”

May of 2010, God brought us to Westwood during one of the lowest points in our lives.  We have been accepted and thank you.

It took me a year or more to gain enough boldness to go to the Tuesday morning Bible study.  After a few weeks, a woman invited me to join everyone for lunch after each meeting. This offer set me up to learn how to “BE” in a group.

Shortly afterwards I joined the book club the church offered. They accepted me! These women taught me how to be in a group of women my age. The books they choose also tapped into emotions that had been buried for over 40 year,  God Bless each of them for staying.

I believe Westwood is a place God wants to use to help the broken people. I do thank each and everyone of you who has gone on this journey with me. God Bless you all with His Mercy and Grace, Amen.

In Romans 12, Paul talks about presenting our bodies as a living holy sacrifice, acceptable to God.

It is a human fight with self, to be a living holy sacrifice for God. I see this battle of the mind, in our two dogs. The best place to watch it, is playing Frisbee and ball in the back yard with Sam and Charlie.

Sam is excited to run. He brings the Frisbee to us, dropping it so we can throw it, and barking if we are not fast enough. When Sam gets tired, he will try to play Charlie’s game, but quickly gives up to run.

Charlie wants to run and chase his ball but something inside him says, “Hold on, and don’t let go!”

I bend down to get on his level with a light hold of the ball, ready to release it if he pulls too hard. I say, “Charlie run! Let go and run!”

Charlie whines and complains thinking about letting go of the ball. He can spend 5 -10 minutes deciding to let go! I see his mind thinking, he gets close to letting go and then chomps down even harder. Finally, he lets go and runs. He is excited because he succeeded in letting go, to do what I asked!

There are days I am like Sam and I follow God through the day smiling, filled with Joy and Praise. When God prompts me to go talk to a person in the store or give a dollar to the homeless person I do it freely and easily. I walk in LOVE and take no offense at anything heard or seen, forgiving everyone freely.

Then there are days when I am more like Charlie. I want to have a pity party because I took offense and it feels good to wallow in the flesh for a while; I know I need to forgive and be free, help me Jesus!

Sometimes God urges me to talk to a person but I debate too long, “Is that you God? I don’t really want to. Do you really need me?”

When I realize I missed God, I condemn myself and berate myself until God reminds me, Jesus died to forgive ALL my mistakes! The faster I accept Jesus’ gift the faster I get on to enjoying my life which is what He died for!

How enjoyable life will be when we all walk in communion with God continuously and let go of self.

GOD IS GOOD!