5/12/17

We spent 2.5 weeks on vacation going West like we did last year; I will write about it comparing it to last year.  This year was much better, we did find out Sam doesn’t like my music blaring in the back of the RV.

During our visit, we had one of those family things that normally happens no matter what you do; this time I wrote what I felt when getting yelled at or hear myself being talked about.  I gave  it to them and they read it and ignored what I said completely and suggested we play cards. I felt like our family was nuts!

Emotional garbage weighed me down. I know I am made NEW IN JESUS, but this stuff is a deep wound that takes many layers of healing.  Jesus did bring this healing in a phone call from my mom.

 

 

 

 

The first time she called I was a bit nervous because she mentioned the letter I left; she had found it again.  It took a few tries but we did connect and God Did His Miracle!  My mom listened to me and ALL I HAD TO SAY! She didn’t tell me  I was wrong! She heard me!

Sometimes that is all that is needed to be Heard, to know you are not invisible to the people around you. That people actually care enough to Hear What you have to say!

Jesus Changes the Bad to Good! God is Good!

3/14/17

This is a day  of crawl out of bed calling out to God for Help! It would be so easy to stay in bed but I know I need to go.  It was 9:30 I was brushing my teeth and walking out the door to arrive at Bible study with 10 seconds to spare; I sat down as the prayer started and the class began.

The teacher has been trying to get me to understand for a year the need to take myself out of my explanations and I am now starting to realize how important it is. Some people cannot hear  Truth if I am in the middle of it! God’s Truth stands on It’s own.

Knowing How important it is I will start working on it. It will take much work and practice but Jesus will help me!

God is Good!

 

I awoke with a migraine this morning; knowing it had something to do with the messages sent and received yesterday.  A friend was demanding too much from me and not giving enough back, I have read a book on boundaries and I felt I needed to put up a fence to protect myself. She lashed back saying maybe I needed counseling, if she had read what I wrote just the paragraph before it stated I have started going to counseling already. I didn’t want to hurt her but I needed to protect myself from outside pressure.

On the other-side of today I received a message from a woman, becoming a new close friend, who gives more than she receives; she blesses me with the words she writes, they lift me up instead of demand of me. I am ThankFull Full of Thanks for the Love she Poured out with Grace and fills me with Peace.

The rest of the day was spent reading the book for book-club, “My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry” by Fredrick Backman; it is pulling memories out of me because my worst year was between 7 and 8 years old and they have issues with bonding between mother and daughter and grandmother. Reading this book feels like my brain on fast forward, never stopping to take a breath; like when I used to tell stories with many bunny trails and only I, knew how they all fit together. Somehow in all the mess a story is building.

A girl who gets picked on by most everybody because she is different; the teachers think she needs counseling because she must be doing something to cause the children to pick on her.  She is lonely and has no friends but her grandma; mom is afraid to get close because it would tap into her deficiency.

San Diego, CA, the place where my life turned. Detectives pretending to be out of gas and wanting to use our phone; they needed to make sure we were the children they were looking for. The detectives come the next day and ask my brother and I to get into the car and go for a ride; how scary does that sound? We just got in! The car stops in front of the daycare where my sister is staying and they cannot get my sister out so everything explodes; my mom, who I have not seen in 12 months, comes to hug me then, Edie, the woman who took her place, arrives to take me back! I AM the Tug in the War between the 2 Moms; they each have an arm and are pulling in opposite directions.

The cops are called, I end up in the state home for kids with trouble and my sister and brother are in some other place; what I remember is feeling alone, I am ripped away from everyone I know! It is not enough my dad decided to rip me away from my mom but now when my mom is trying to get me back I am ripped away from everyone! FEAR!!!!!

I find myself going up to some teenage boy and watching him play some game like pool, so do I go up to the teenage boy because I have lived at boys homes for half of my life? Are teenage boys in trouble, my comfort zone? I know I feared them for the rest of my life until just recently when God Set me Free from The Spirit of Fear!

MY OH MY, what comes out when it is put on paper?

 

3/13/17
Today is a rest day.  I have spent much of today sleeping or reading the book, “The Faith Club”; I find I have needed to eat my low-fat Ruffles chips to relax my intestines.

Sleeping until 10 am, Charlie said he needed to go out, I fed both dogs and cat returning to bed because more sleep was needed. My phone beeped with a text suggesting I could meet friends at noon;  feeling no get-up-and-go so I stayed in bed until almost 1 pm.

The one thing that brings me peace at this point is watching “Bones”! I have started to watch with the cc captions, pausing to look up the words I don’t know. Learning much, I am so thankful for the ability to look up words on my phone, flunking spelling every year except 6th grade when my teacher understood my struggle and helped me succeed.

Looking up words has always been a struggle not understanding how to tell what sound each letter make especially vowels. Part of this could have come from my moving across the country every 6 months as a kid with the change in how people pronounce letters changes with each state.

God is Good! God Bless everyone who reads this!
3/12/17

I heard the alarm go off at 8, I can sleep some more. AT  8:30 I hit snooze:  once, twice, and three times before the the 9 am alarm went off; hitting the snooze again, I started crying out to Jesus, “Please help!”

Somewhere around 9:10-15 I turned enough to roll out of bed like jello rolls down a hill. My feet found their spot on the ground and my body rolled up as well as it can, to stand with hands RAISED IN PRAISE TO GOD FOR THE ABILITY TO GET UP! I put on my clothes, did my oil pulling, grabbed the offering and walked out the door with my lemon water; maybe I washed my face and put a comb through my hair; it has been known to be forgotten when in a hurry.

Starting my car to warm it just a bit, I dropped one load into the car and ran back into the house to make sure  everything was good and praying to make it on time!  Driving down the street, praying for protection, that God send His angels to keep us safe and for all my family and stuff like the house and animals and cars to be protected in the Blood of Jesus! Arriving with many other cars, we pulled into the parking lot on time; I was so tired my feet just walked to my normal spot near the front, without stopping to talk to anyone! Finding some 5 hour energy in my purse I took a bit to help me stay awake.

Praising God during the service, tears rolling down my face, I was very Thankful God helped me crawl out of bed and I didn’t give in to my body or sleep that tried to keep me home. Leaving the sanctuary, I was feeling all alone, no noticed me or said anything as I slowly walked to the bathroom. SURPRISE, NO ONE was in there; telling God, “I feel all alone, but that is OK, I still have YOU!

A woman walked in as I was heading to the door, and asking how I was.  Not remembering what my response was; we ended up talking for 10 minutes and I believe we will become friends. She is on the Praise Team and is thankful for my Praising of God. This is the second time this Winter I have felt all alone, wanting a friend, and God put someone into my life. God IS Very Good.

Leaving church with a pair of jeans in need of exchange, I stopped at Kohl’s and found the perfect pair of pants I had been looking for, the skinny jeans! Yeah! There was only one pair and its size didn’t match the rest of the pants, it is 30×32 size; I didn’t really know if it would fit but I took that and a size 6 into the dressing room, they both fit wonderfully well! I brought both to the checkout in case I didn’t get to keep my discount as I exchange my jeans.

Last Wednesday, stopping at Kohl’s after a meeting, an hour before closing, I was looking and looking for my desire, not finding it; a pair of jeans in hand I headed to check out as they call for everyone to head to a register to check out with the next best thing to use my free $5 coupon and my $10 Yes2rewards.

Trying to be happy, all I saw was baggy jeans; what fit well last spring and fall have gotten baggy I was not happy. Hoping and praying things would be better at the other store Hoping God had my answer!  Successful in the exchange, I did have to pay a bit more because they were a little more expensive.

I put it on my Kohl’s  card to get the benefit of coupons in the future and paid cash to have $0 balance! We are going to get out of debt and stay out. On the way home, I thought of stopping to get some donuts but I was out of money! That is the way to live God’s way!

3/12/17

3/11/17

Today I woke to my alarm, confused what it was; thinking another hour or more of sleep was available, God popped the time I need to leave into my head; I bet it was God prompting me to put 8 am alarm on because I didn’t want to get up that earl.

Realizing the time to leave was 10:30 not 11:30 I quickly hopped out of bed, put on my running clothes and out the door with Sam then changing dogs in the middle picking up Charlie; I was actually too warm for my short 1.5 mile run with 5 layers to protect me from the 18 degrees !

I got everything done and out the door to my appointment to help a friend. I had no idea what I was walking into, she said she needed help; I heard women’s meeting come volunteer and help me with the women. What I found was a friend trying to put together letters to make her women’s meeting happen.

I don’t know if we are talking the same language; she told me not to say “Set Free” but say “Empower”, I guess she doesn’t understand that I am all about being “set free” and being “empowered” doesn’t do anything until you are set free!

God Bless each of you as WE in the USA Change our clocks tonight and loose and hour of sleep; grumpy people the next few days.

3/10/17

God is so Good! I didn’t sleep until 5:30 AM but I did sleep until noon; I was pleasantly pleased  to get up, raise my arms in Praise and go on my way like I had a normal day yesterday. I did sit more today; probably around what my normal busy day is. I am in AWE of All the Changes God is making in me.

I am on my way to bed; tomorrow I am going to try a new thing, helping a friend with her woman’s group; I will see what help I can do to help set these women free!

God Bless each and every one of you!

3/9/17

Today I thought I was going to do laundry and ironing to clean up all the clothes and get them under control; it ended up being a day taking my bed apart: flipping and turning the mattress; vacuuming all the dog hair from under the bed, and oiling the teak wood to keep it in good condition. I ended up moving my bed a foot to the left because I realized I am the one who wants the cold air and I am not near the window; Bart gets cold because he has been under the window completely!

This day has been a miracle because I didn’t stop to watch tv; I did have it on and listen as I cleaned, but I didn’t sit and enjoy a break.  The break I got was to run my 3.5 miles and God put the idea in my mind to do log lifts to straighten my back. It does help, especially in the summer doing yard work; today it lead to 70 lunges and 30 curls of my log.

It is amazing how my body is changing.  I am not limping or struggling at all; I am even wondering if I should try a plank and pushups or if I should just go to bed.  God is changing me into a new wonderful person.  I did ask God to show me how to clean my house 5 years ago after He healed my body; I had spent 28 years in pain so I could not do much most days, I needed help learning how to change from sitting all the time to  moving all the time! I am excited to see what I am able to do tomorrow. God is Very Good!

3/8/17

WIND! WIND! WIND!

It is not a day for running!

I did take a walk after 11 PM when I realized I was close to getting 10,000 steps and 5 miles; I actually walked 1.3 miles and after arriving back home I saw my goal for 5 miles was still short .4  miles  so I went back out and succeed in achieving this goal just minutes before it turned 12 midnight!

Earlier in the day, I took Sam and Charlie out back to play frisbee; most of the time Charlie was smelling around all his corners while Sam spent most of his time running after the frisbee, all of a sudden Charlie decided to go after the frisbee and take off with it!

Great fun!

 

3/7/17

I met an old friend today. We haven’t seen each other since before all of my healing. I hope and pray She is healed of the afflictions attacking her body.

Today was a good day; I ran my first mile at 11:53 mm! This is a Good thing!

God Bless

2/25/17

I woke with the intention of running first thing: success! I got out of bed and did my coconut pulling while I was getting dressed to run; it took longer today because the temperature had dropped to 25 degrees and 19 MPH winds! I put on layer after layer and never felt hot. I only drank a little of my lemon water before I left because it was too warm and I didn’t want to put it off.

Running went well; my first two miles were around 15 mm, I start my time in the house and leash up the dog and walk across the street so that takes time; a minute or two.  It was VERY hard to run! I stopped a few time to take a few steps walking because  my muscles were crying out; I don’t want to help you breath or hold you up or help you lift your legs.

Later in the day I made salmon and salad for dinner; I was sitting there eating and having trouble, somehow when the muscles around my ribs and stomach hurt it is very hard to eat; it is almost like the muscles that move the food do not want to work. I had this thought to take some 5 hour energy, it took a while to decide to act; when I did get up and open an new bottle, it was only minutes later that all my pain left and I was able to finish eating. I don’t really know why But I Do believe God has lead me to this vitamin drink; it has helped God change my life.

The one thing I have decided is I am experiencing many nerves coming online big time! Two days rest did not help with the pain. God is making me stronger. He is getting me ready for something.

God is GREAT!!! God is Good!

2/24/17

This was a day of rest; I kept getting moving every hour to get my 250 steps on my fitbit: it is all I did! This day became a day of rest and “Bones”! I succeeded in all 9 hours of moving and nothing else; I thought my normal body would get full of energy since I really rested yesterday: It didn’t happen! I was in pain all day and it never quit, even after a nap.

2/23/17

Yesterday I went to the vet, I had been thinking of going to another vet, but I realized it has much more to do with never knowing which person was going to step into the room and be the vet.  I thought I could ask to see the same person at this place; this visit I met a new vet who told me more than I got from any vet that I have ever seen: I asked if I could use him only.

Standing at the check out spot, the clerk I remember from all the years at this vet, saw me; she put down her coat, and waited on me. She remembers me as the person who was in constant pain, limping, and not understanding what everyone knows. I did ask the question I have been wondering about, licenses; I have heard people ask if we needed one and I wasn’t really understanding what they were asking.

I did get dog license for both dogs; as she was filling out the information I was talking about how I am going to get my house clean this year, her comment was we all want to but never really do it.  That lead into my telling how Bart and I carried every Readers Digest with us like they were books; to every state we moved we carried them as cherished goods. That lead into how God gave me 5 new bones and new nerves and How He healed me of my past.  I gave her my blog site; maybe she will look at it and find this note about her.  She is a sweet wonderful woman who always treated me with Respect and Grace. God Bless her.

She did say I needed to attach them to the dog collars and it should be easy to sew a few stitches to attach them; I still need to do this but at least I have purchased them.  I will let you know when I attach them.God Bless you who read this.

2/22/17

I heard the most beautiful comment tonight; a new friend told me she thought when I was teaching class last Wednesday, that I was a professional!  Isn’t that a Most Wonderful Compliment? God is so Good!

2/21/17

It is the end of the day and I have just realized it is the 21st; I woke to make breakfast for Bart this morning and was headed back to bed until Bart helped me understand it was Tuesday, not Monday. When Bart has Monday off it messes with me.

As Bible Study started, the pain of lifting the logs combined with the 11 mile run really hit my whole back as I sat down for class. I did take pain medicine and it helped by 9:30. Lunch went well and grocery shopping went well; at home I lay down and the dogs lay with me for 2short naps, waking up to achieve the 250 steps each hour for Fitbit.

My body was finally ready to run around 6 PM and I was able to run the first mile without stopping  at a rate of 12:19mm: I did stop and take some beautiful pictures of the sunset! At home I obeyed God and did 70 lunges, 30 lifts and curls with the log; then I did a 3 minute plank, 30 push-ups and, only 4 pull-ups.

2/20/17

Today is President’s day and Bart has the day off; we took the dogs to Celery Flats to walk Sam and Charlie, we walked 4 miles! I say thank you to Fitbit who has given Bart what he needed to push himself and start getting into shape. Last year and the  few years before Bart would be complaining shortly after one mile.

I find myself getting into trouble with Bart; I seem to step on his toes, being a mother to my husband is not a good thing.  I need to let him be a man and have some pride. I messed up and lifted a log that he couldn’t lift yesterday; I suggested he do some weight lifting while it was snowing and cold, he didn’t think he needed to do more than walk. I need to be strong and not out-lift my husband. Lord Help!

I need to do something good for him and get up in the morning like I have for years but lately I have been up at night and sleeping in the morning; I have made his lunch and had food to warm for breakfast but seeing me is probably a much better morning.  God Help me be better and do better!

2/19/17

Good Evening, I just finished with my Hebrew class that pulls out the important stuff in the Hebrew language that doesn’t get translated; we were learning how Joseph was so gracious with his brothers and watching and testing to see if they had changed from their old way.  Last week we found out that this is the first place that forgiveness is mentioned in the Bible. IT is a wonderful story of Grace and Redemption.

I did find out today that God is using my running to strengthen my back; I was walking up stairs and my back muscles around my ribs were crying out that they were tired and didn’t want to be worked anymore.

GOD IS GOOD!

2/18/17

Last night, in the middle of the night, when I was awake for hours;  God was teaching me many things about how the only WORK we are to do as Christians is to BELIEVE and Receive/Take from The Father! He did show me how Working out our Salvation is grounded in Believing. When I look at Deuteronomy 30: 15-16,  God says, I set before you Life and Death: Choose! I even give you the answer: Choose Life!

Every moment of every day is a Choice between Life and Death so When you Choose Life and God’s Ways you are walking in Faith and Believing God is Who He says He Is! The way He wants you to Change is to Ask Him and Listen and Watch for Him to answer; He will often give you the opportunity to Believe Him and Act, Do what He gives you to do: Change you More and More into His image.

Today, I followed Him as I realized He wanted me to go run; I figured it would be the 6  miles He has started to push me to, I was mistaken. He wanted me to run 11 miles! I followed!

God is Good!

2/17/17

Today my body was still needing rest; I got up early and it took until 3 to get enough God to go running.

My day gained energy after that and 8 PM I drove with Sam to the local Khol’s and picked up a fitbit for Bart to replace the broken one. I needed help to unlock the devices and find out the prices.  I decided on my choice and was ready to pick it up and go but they didn’t have a black band; they needed to find one in storage. While we waited I talked to the lady who was there about how it has been such a good thing to get Bart out from behind the computer.  I then started to tell her how God has been healing my body and that He still wants to bring healing to people today.  God Bless her and give her desire to find Jesus!

2/16/17

Today has been a day of rest except for a lunch meeting with a good friend. I believe it was one of those days I succeeded in being a good friend. It was a day I listened to God and asked the question about my friend and how she is doing, instead of talking about my exciting news. I do believe I took another step into adulthood. God is Very Good.

We did find Grace, or cat took a bite of Bart’s fitbit because of the flashing green lights and broke it.  We are being truthful to not using credit again.  I am going to take money out of our food budget and buy him another fitbit; it helps Bart get excited about getting healthy! We are getting out of debt; following God and His way of doing things which is opposite of the World and it’s way. God is Very Good.

2/15/17

Today started slow; even my fitbit didn’t think I was moving after I was up for a whole hour. When I ran about 1/2 a mile into the run I started to feel sweat on my lower back; this is a new thing. When I got home and took off my shirt I had a wet sweat spot covering the middle of the back from top to bottom! my normal sweat  has always been around my bra and groin areas.  I did notice there was no sweat mark on the front stomach area; that isn’t as healed as the back.

When I hopped in the shower the impact of what that means hit me! I started to cry and Praise God!

The end of the day I taught a class, the first class I have taught since I have been healed; I stood at the front of the class using the whiteboard, teaching fellow students about God and His Power to Heal and about strongholds and how to be set free!  Basically all the stuff I know well! God is Good!

I am Walking by the Spirit into my future! God IS So Good!

2/14/17

Today we took our first steps to walking debt free: It has to do with changing or attitude about credit and learning to pay cash and doing without instead of getting before we can afford it. It also means changing our attitude about feeling we are owed something because we work hard and we want it.

We have paid off our credit card bills many times but gotten back into debt very quickly; I believe it is one more way God says transform the way you think, if you do it my way you will succeed!

2/13/17

I have asked God for a friend and today I believe He gave me one today. I was invited to coffee at a McDonald’s for a bunch of women to just talk and get to know each other; it was defiantly a God moment! So as I was writing yesterday, about the 3 people Jesus choosing as His closest friends.  I Believe God is filling these spots.

Today after praying and spending time with God; He gave me energy to run 3 miles and at the end of the run He started to plant the idea of  Lunges.  I did my normal 70 lunges with my log, 30 lifts, 30 curls and then before I got into the shower I thought of trying a plank.  I ended up planking for 5 minutes with little problem; then I tried pull-ups and I succeeded at 8 of them! God is Working a mighty WORK in me!

Some day I will start getting up and spending time with God first thing and running early so I have energy for the day! GOD IS GOOD!!!!!