First lesson: Save, Save, Save! I had the unwise thought that once I had posted something, I could add to it without saving it. Surprise! I was wrong.

I rewrote my last post after publishing it, reasoning since it was published I didn’t need to save it again; thinking everything on the internet last forever then BOOM, it disappeared. I know I have not saved a change on a post like this before; how many changes have I  made that didn’t stay? I would not have known this except, this time I watched it happen.

It reminds me of a time when my daughter was 3 years old, we took in a baby to watch while her mother was at work.  This baby came over with the flu one day; we washed hands constantly and as my hands grew raw from all the washing, I wondered if the antibacterial hand sanitizer kept working after I put it on, I took the chance and didn’t wash again after blowing her nose, guess what? We caught the flu.

SECOND LESSON: Take every thought captive and only keep the Good thoughts!  Starting a new class in Ancient Greek, fear and panic overcame me at the end of the first class; I wanted to push the class off to the future, maybe next fall. Possibly, I will be ready for it at that time. Finally I said, “NO Fear allowed!” I picked myself up, went out the door, and changed my  thoughts to good possible thoughts like moving my asparagus.

I avoided Greek for a few days until it got close to the next class, then I started to work at it. Someone told me it would be easier than Hebrew. IT Sure didn’t feel like it! I will admit by my second class I could guess at some of the words because they were close enough to the English to make sense; during the second  class they introduced the cursive letters and I really struggled because somehow that was suppose to be easy to understand and read.

SURPRISE! Today there were only 2 classmates which forced me learn! I painfully sounded out every letter, sometimes quickly looking up what the letters are in the middle of a word and figure out how to mouth it all together.  My teacher could see one particular letter that troubled me; it is amazing how long an hour can take when every second my brain is working on overdrive. Punting, I force the sounds out of my mouth that were not flowing easily. It is embarrassing sounding so mechanical when the other student breezes through the reading like he knows this already.

THIRD LESSON: God is Good and The Devil works hard to take my mind off of Good things by suggesting thoughts that are wrong, hard, or out of my control, to bring me down. The Devil is a lier and wants me to feel condemned and helpless.

I am learning to catch my thoughts faster, keep thinking on Good God thoughts: I am Loved, I am Righteous in Jesus, I am a Saint, I am filled With Holy Spirit and The Grace of God Covers All my mistakes! Amen! I AM STRONG, I AM ABLE TO DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME AND MAKES ME A WALKING MIRACLE! JESUS IS TRANSFORMING ME AND WON’T FINISH UNTIL HE IS DONE! I am a work in progress.

 

God Bless Each and Everyone, who reads my posts, with Good things!

5/12/17

We spent 2.5 weeks on vacation going West like we did last year; I will write about it comparing it to last year.  This year was much better, we did find out Sam doesn’t like my music blaring in the back of the RV.

During our visit, we had one of those family things that normally happens no matter what you do; this time I wrote what I felt when getting yelled at or hear myself being talked about.  I gave  it to them and they read it and ignored what I said completely and suggested we play cards. I felt like our family was nuts!

Emotional garbage weighed me down. I know I am made NEW IN JESUS, but this stuff is a deep wound that takes many layers of healing.  Jesus did bring this healing in a phone call from my mom.

 

 

 

 

The first time she called I was a bit nervous because she mentioned the letter I left; she had found it again.  It took a few tries but we did connect and God Did His Miracle!  My mom listened to me and ALL I HAD TO SAY! She didn’t tell me  I was wrong! She heard me!

Sometimes that is all that is needed to be Heard, to know you are not invisible to the people around you. That people actually care enough to Hear What you have to say!

Jesus Changes the Bad to Good! God is Good!

3/14/17

This is a day  of crawl out of bed calling out to God for Help! It would be so easy to stay in bed but I know I need to go.  It was 9:30 I was brushing my teeth and walking out the door to arrive at Bible study with 10 seconds to spare; I sat down as the prayer started and the class began.

The teacher has been trying to get me to understand for a year the need to take myself out of my explanations and I am now starting to realize how important it is. Some people cannot hear  Truth if I am in the middle of it! God’s Truth stands on It’s own.

Knowing How important it is I will start working on it. It will take much work and practice but Jesus will help me!

God is Good!

 

I awoke with a migraine this morning; knowing it had something to do with the messages sent and received yesterday.  A friend was demanding too much from me and not giving enough back, I have read a book on boundaries and I felt I needed to put up a fence to protect myself. She lashed back saying maybe I needed counseling, if she had read what I wrote just the paragraph before it stated I have started going to counseling already. I didn’t want to hurt her but I needed to protect myself from outside pressure.

On the other-side of today I received a message from a woman, becoming a new close friend, who gives more than she receives; she blesses me with the words she writes, they lift me up instead of demand of me. I am ThankFull Full of Thanks for the Love she Poured out with Grace and fills me with Peace.

The rest of the day was spent reading the book for book-club, “My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry” by Fredrick Backman; it is pulling memories out of me because my worst year was between 7 and 8 years old and they have issues with bonding between mother and daughter and grandmother. Reading this book feels like my brain on fast forward, never stopping to take a breath; like when I used to tell stories with many bunny trails and only I, knew how they all fit together. Somehow in all the mess a story is building.

A girl who gets picked on by most everybody because she is different; the teachers think she needs counseling because she must be doing something to cause the children to pick on her.  She is lonely and has no friends but her grandma; mom is afraid to get close because it would tap into her deficiency.

San Diego, CA, the place where my life turned. Detectives pretending to be out of gas and wanting to use our phone; they needed to make sure we were the children they were looking for. The detectives come the next day and ask my brother and I to get into the car and go for a ride; how scary does that sound? We just got in! The car stops in front of the daycare where my sister is staying and they cannot get my sister out so everything explodes; my mom, who I have not seen in 12 months, comes to hug me then, Edie, the woman who took her place, arrives to take me back! I AM the Tug in the War between the 2 Moms; they each have an arm and are pulling in opposite directions.

The cops are called, I end up in the state home for kids with trouble and my sister and brother are in some other place; what I remember is feeling alone, I am ripped away from everyone I know! It is not enough my dad decided to rip me away from my mom but now when my mom is trying to get me back I am ripped away from everyone! FEAR!!!!!

I find myself going up to some teenage boy and watching him play some game like pool, so do I go up to the teenage boy because I have lived at boys homes for half of my life? Are teenage boys in trouble, my comfort zone? I know I feared them for the rest of my life until just recently when God Set me Free from The Spirit of Fear!

MY OH MY, what comes out when it is put on paper?

 

3/13/17
Today is a rest day.  I have spent much of today sleeping or reading the book, “The Faith Club”; I find I have needed to eat my low-fat Ruffles chips to relax my intestines.

Sleeping until 10 am, Charlie said he needed to go out, I fed both dogs and cat returning to bed because more sleep was needed. My phone beeped with a text suggesting I could meet friends at noon;  feeling no get-up-and-go so I stayed in bed until almost 1 pm.

The one thing that brings me peace at this point is watching “Bones”! I have started to watch with the cc captions, pausing to look up the words I don’t know. Learning much, I am so thankful for the ability to look up words on my phone, flunking spelling every year except 6th grade when my teacher understood my struggle and helped me succeed.

Looking up words has always been a struggle not understanding how to tell what sound each letter make especially vowels. Part of this could have come from my moving across the country every 6 months as a kid with the change in how people pronounce letters changes with each state.

God is Good! God Bless everyone who reads this!
3/12/17

I heard the alarm go off at 8, I can sleep some more. AT  8:30 I hit snooze:  once, twice, and three times before the the 9 am alarm went off; hitting the snooze again, I started crying out to Jesus, “Please help!”

Somewhere around 9:10-15 I turned enough to roll out of bed like jello rolls down a hill. My feet found their spot on the ground and my body rolled up as well as it can, to stand with hands RAISED IN PRAISE TO GOD FOR THE ABILITY TO GET UP! I put on my clothes, did my oil pulling, grabbed the offering and walked out the door with my lemon water; maybe I washed my face and put a comb through my hair; it has been known to be forgotten when in a hurry.

Starting my car to warm it just a bit, I dropped one load into the car and ran back into the house to make sure  everything was good and praying to make it on time!  Driving down the street, praying for protection, that God send His angels to keep us safe and for all my family and stuff like the house and animals and cars to be protected in the Blood of Jesus! Arriving with many other cars, we pulled into the parking lot on time; I was so tired my feet just walked to my normal spot near the front, without stopping to talk to anyone! Finding some 5 hour energy in my purse I took a bit to help me stay awake.

Praising God during the service, tears rolling down my face, I was very Thankful God helped me crawl out of bed and I didn’t give in to my body or sleep that tried to keep me home. Leaving the sanctuary, I was feeling all alone, no noticed me or said anything as I slowly walked to the bathroom. SURPRISE, NO ONE was in there; telling God, “I feel all alone, but that is OK, I still have YOU!

A woman walked in as I was heading to the door, and asking how I was.  Not remembering what my response was; we ended up talking for 10 minutes and I believe we will become friends. She is on the Praise Team and is thankful for my Praising of God. This is the second time this Winter I have felt all alone, wanting a friend, and God put someone into my life. God IS Very Good.

Leaving church with a pair of jeans in need of exchange, I stopped at Kohl’s and found the perfect pair of pants I had been looking for, the skinny jeans! Yeah! There was only one pair and its size didn’t match the rest of the pants, it is 30×32 size; I didn’t really know if it would fit but I took that and a size 6 into the dressing room, they both fit wonderfully well! I brought both to the checkout in case I didn’t get to keep my discount as I exchange my jeans.

Last Wednesday, stopping at Kohl’s after a meeting, an hour before closing, I was looking and looking for my desire, not finding it; a pair of jeans in hand I headed to check out as they call for everyone to head to a register to check out with the next best thing to use my free $5 coupon and my $10 Yes2rewards.

Trying to be happy, all I saw was baggy jeans; what fit well last spring and fall have gotten baggy I was not happy. Hoping and praying things would be better at the other store Hoping God had my answer!  Successful in the exchange, I did have to pay a bit more because they were a little more expensive.

I put it on my Kohl’s  card to get the benefit of coupons in the future and paid cash to have $0 balance! We are going to get out of debt and stay out. On the way home, I thought of stopping to get some donuts but I was out of money! That is the way to live God’s way!

3/12/17

3/11/17

Today I woke to my alarm, confused what it was; thinking another hour or more of sleep was available, God popped the time I need to leave into my head; I bet it was God prompting me to put 8 am alarm on because I didn’t want to get up that earl.

Realizing the time to leave was 10:30 not 11:30 I quickly hopped out of bed, put on my running clothes and out the door with Sam then changing dogs in the middle picking up Charlie; I was actually too warm for my short 1.5 mile run with 5 layers to protect me from the 18 degrees !

I got everything done and out the door to my appointment to help a friend. I had no idea what I was walking into, she said she needed help; I heard women’s meeting come volunteer and help me with the women. What I found was a friend trying to put together letters to make her women’s meeting happen.

I don’t know if we are talking the same language; she told me not to say “Set Free” but say “Empower”, I guess she doesn’t understand that I am all about being “set free” and being “empowered” doesn’t do anything until you are set free!

God Bless each of you as WE in the USA Change our clocks tonight and loose and hour of sleep; grumpy people the next few days.

3/10/17

God is so Good! I didn’t sleep until 5:30 AM but I did sleep until noon; I was pleasantly pleased  to get up, raise my arms in Praise and go on my way like I had a normal day yesterday. I did sit more today; probably around what my normal busy day is. I am in AWE of All the Changes God is making in me.

I am on my way to bed; tomorrow I am going to try a new thing, helping a friend with her woman’s group; I will see what help I can do to help set these women free!

God Bless each and every one of you!

3/9/17

Today I thought I was going to do laundry and ironing to clean up all the clothes and get them under control; it ended up being a day taking my bed apart: flipping and turning the mattress; vacuuming all the dog hair from under the bed, and oiling the teak wood to keep it in good condition. I ended up moving my bed a foot to the left because I realized I am the one who wants the cold air and I am not near the window; Bart gets cold because he has been under the window completely!

This day has been a miracle because I didn’t stop to watch tv; I did have it on and listen as I cleaned, but I didn’t sit and enjoy a break.  The break I got was to run my 3.5 miles and God put the idea in my mind to do log lifts to straighten my back. It does help, especially in the summer doing yard work; today it lead to 70 lunges and 30 curls of my log.

It is amazing how my body is changing.  I am not limping or struggling at all; I am even wondering if I should try a plank and pushups or if I should just go to bed.  God is changing me into a new wonderful person.  I did ask God to show me how to clean my house 5 years ago after He healed my body; I had spent 28 years in pain so I could not do much most days, I needed help learning how to change from sitting all the time to  moving all the time! I am excited to see what I am able to do tomorrow. God is Very Good!

3/8/17

WIND! WIND! WIND!

It is not a day for running!

I did take a walk after 11 PM when I realized I was close to getting 10,000 steps and 5 miles; I actually walked 1.3 miles and after arriving back home I saw my goal for 5 miles was still short .4  miles  so I went back out and succeed in achieving this goal just minutes before it turned 12 midnight!

Earlier in the day, I took Sam and Charlie out back to play frisbee; most of the time Charlie was smelling around all his corners while Sam spent most of his time running after the frisbee, all of a sudden Charlie decided to go after the frisbee and take off with it!

Great fun!

 

3/7/17

I met an old friend today. We haven’t seen each other since before all of my healing. I hope and pray She is healed of the afflictions attacking her body.

Today was a good day; I ran my first mile at 11:53 mm! This is a Good thing!

God Bless