Some of my earliest memories of the sunrise are weekends at Grandma B’s farmhouse in the summer.  She would wake me each morning to stand at the edge of the field, and watch the sun come up and puts words of being a princess in my head. In a dress with a white sweater, she would hold me tight, keeping away the morning chill, standing together, filled with love, watching the sun rise.

A few years later we are living on Grandma W’s farm. This Grandma didn’t rise to watch the sun, but to work the farm. Each morning I would wake with the sunshine peaking in my window, and the sound of Grandma making breakfast was traveling up the stairs, to my ears.  Crawling out of bed, I tip toe down the stairs quietly, allowing my sister to continue sleeping. Grandma reacts with surprise and joy when she sees me enter the dining room and greets me with a hug! I see the sun pouring in the windows, casting a beautiful glow in the dining room that is only seen in the early morning summer sun. Grandpa is out milking the cows before I wake up; but he makes it back to the kitchen before breakfast carrying a pail of fresh milk for Grandma: to be strained, skimmed, and chilled. Each morning we poured the fresh cream on our cereal and berries, what a treat.

During the years my daughter is a toddler, I am pleased to find she is not a morning person. She joins my husband wanting to sleep in giving me the ability to get up and spend some quiet time with God before the day gets busy. This works well all the days of my life, until year 50!

To have the morning change so drastically, my evening also needed to change! All my life, bedtime has been around 10 in the evening.  I am very thankful for my friends during sleepovers; they moaned and complained, but didn’t prank me when I fell asleep, long before they did.

The days my daughter is young, I am often tempted to go to bed just after 8 pm! The very last year I go to bed before midnight, I have an online Hebrew class; it ends at 10 PM, pushing me to stay awake until it ends. The very next year I have a Hebrew class in the morning and I struggle to pull myself out of bed and be awake up for it.

Something switches around the time I turned 50: sleep starts coming in the early morning with the sun rising! It is such a strange thought to feel awake and alert and look at the clock to see it is midnight! It messes with my head! This change shows up when I wake up, wide awake after sleeping in bed for 2-3 hours. I start to be awake for hours in bed.  At first it bothers me and I stress about how little sleep I am going to get because 5 am is approaching. I pray and take medication to sleep, but stay awake. I turn on a cd or podcasts to keep my mind positive and learn, while I wait to fall back asleep.

Before the change, in my 40’s I am so weak (from scoliosis and accident damage) I nap 1-3 hours in the afternoon after the 8-10 hours of sleep at night. Turning 50, Menopause has something to do with my sleep changing, but also the healing and strength God is providing has a great deal to do with it.

WISDOM ARRIVED!  I lay down (not in bed) if I am tired, resting my back for scoliosis.  Going to bed before midnight, no longer works. I learned Peace and how to enjoy my time awake in bed. Stress and worry make everything worse; if I am not sleeping, I trust God to carry me through my day.