One day recently I tried on the thought of Uber driving.
Where did that come from?
I put off healing.
It will be painful.
I mention it to a couple of people.
Fear is close to the surface.
Tears escape my eyes.
Healing is needed.
It takes time and energy.
In 2011, God gave me a miracle. HE gave me new bone in my spine, setting me free of 28 years of constant pain. Then He started growing nerves in my abdominal and back muscles. This gave me the ability to grow muscle in my core. These muscles give me the ability to lift my legs and run. Something I have always wanted to do.
Two years later we hand our tree cut down and I chose a log to lift and use doing lunges. I continued running longer distances and using the log doing lunges with the log extended above my head to build muscles.
This continued until we started driving West 2-3 times a year for family emergencies. But what really threw a wrench into everything is my husband needing surgery and taking care of him, then 2020 happened.
I have been trying to get back to running for the last few years, but not able to sustain it for one reason or another.
I told myself a lie that I didn’t need to run because I am working in the flower garden and walking.
The difference of weight lifting and running daily is already showing up in my posture and amount of pain after just a week. I need to make it priority one.
Back to bed, I woke one hour later, refreshed and ready to move.
A bit sore, I decided to do push-ups and a plank again thinking, “the hair of the dog that bit you.”
Not much later I decided to walk 2 mile early because of the chance of rain.
In the evening after Choir practice I decided to run. It was a bit wet but made 3 miles at an okay pace. Afterward, I decided to do lunges and log lifts again.
Maybe I will get back to 5 miles a day and into the clothes I wore a few years ago.
To be truthful, my husband would not say, “I decided to do anything.”
I do debate before I decide to go run!
God is So Very Good! LORD PLEASE HELP ME RUN DAILY!
This week my core muscles and my buttocks have been in great pain. I attributed it to typing the story last Friday. It made sitting still in church difficult.
It took a few days of rest before I could walk any distance after typing.
Yesterday walking returned with a little run.
Today, God drops thoughts of a plank and lunges while I walk. Was it a whole 7 days ago I last did weight lifting?
Picking up my log I do 50 lunges as soon as I dropped off the dogs. Inside I drop to the floor and do a 2 minute plank with 15 Push-ups.
How many of us sit in pain and keep taking pain medicine waiting for the pain to leave when maybe, just maybe, moving our muscles might be the answer to stopping pain.
GOD IS VERY GOOD. He created our bodies to function best when we move. It is not just pain that is mitigated but also moving those intestines that need help so often staying regular. Walking and running definitely help but we must not forget weight lifting.
God Is So Very Good.
In the past, Sam would bark making talk difficult. This day Sam stays quiet so I know it is a God moment.
In the conversation I mention, “God healing nerves and bone but leaving scoliosis.”
She asked, “Can you lift your hands? Wash your face? Brush your hair?”
I lifted my one free hand above my hand as I do when I Praise God!
Pondering her words, I remember in my 40’s experiencing some difficulty lifting my hands and extending them out.
God has given me nerves and the ability to grow muscle in my 50’s to be able to lift my hands high!
A neighbor’s friends comes over to tell me, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with…”
My emotions flip into a tailspin. Writhing in pain from the thoughts attacking my mind, “I’m going to loose all my neighborhood friends!”
“God, show me where this is coming from!”
HE pulls up this memory.
The summer of 1983, I find friends in a college group of the church I attend. One weekend, the college group drives to Canada for a camping trip: the women drive automobiles, the men are on motorcycles.
During this trip I am included and accepted. The trip is full of fun and joy! We decide to tour the park on bikes.
The motorcycle slides under a station wagon. A body collides with the front end before landing in the field.
The accident itself is not the cause of the trouble.
The fact my father hires a lawyer to sue for the insurance money is.
The youth pastor teaches, “We don’t believe in insurance.“
I am called into his office. Paralyzed with fear, I listen and leave.
My friends stay away like I am poisonous fruit.
The Head Pastor asks an inappropriate question in the middle of a crowd, and promptly tells me, “I am not able to marry you.”
I ride my bicycle back to the dorm in tears, alone!
I push forward focusing on my senior classes, the wedding, and the surgery to return my insides to their proper place.
Not dealing with the pain, leaves an open wound waiting to to bleed over anyone around.
I have not had many friends anytime in my life.
I realize now, the fear of possibly loosing my new friends has kept me bound, not able to do my normal joyful tasks
.
God knew it is time to heal the the open wound. He allowed me to feel the pain as he ripped off the bandage filled with lies, allowing the wound to heal.
This plant started itself and continued growing all summer. I watched as it covered the sidewalk, and I felt helpless to change it.
GOD IS GOOD!
This day is wonderful and grows in well-being as I watch myself do the thing I couldn’t do the day before, until…
It all comes crashing down and I imagine the whole neighborhood hating me.
This well worn path in my brain, “I am starting to be accepted and I messed it up again!”
I try weeding my garden, walking with my husband, but this horrible thought of “I always mess it up!” continues in my brain!
I get out journal tell God all my fears and frustrations then turn on a Bethel Worship Service!
Someday that well worn path will be overgrown and it will be hard to find instead of the first place to go to!
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
One of my recent posts was about watching God provide money and guide my steps to buy everything I would need for the next few weeks.
Today Bart went shopping and had a similar experience with God providing, unexpectedly.
We are trying to cut our bills and get everything in line but little things like this blog come with bills and this one is due in a week. I don’t know where the money is will come from. I did send in a story to a magazine in hopes of getting published.
If anyone has a desire to help me keep this blog going there is a donate button connecting to PayPal above and below the archives.
God Bless you all!
God Is Still Very Good.
Tuesday, I decide to run to the local store for chips. Checking to see if I have enough to pick up bananas and what I see shocks me!
My first thought, “God put money in my wallet, it is too neat to be anything I did.”
At home I ask, “Bart did you give me money with out telling me?”
“No. Who is giving you money?”
“I Believe God put $60 in my wallet!”
After church, I stop at Aldi grocery and think, “I have the $60, I can buy a bit freely.”
Choosing the bigger chicken and potatoes to go with the chicken, enough eggs for a few weeks and cranberry juice. On the way to check out I pass frozen Salmon. It is wild caught! I pick it up! Feeling Blessed.
I say this because my bill came to exactly $59.03! How exact is God to provide exactly what is needed and add a little Grace.
I read a Facebook memory written when my daughter suggested, “You shouldn’t post what you do.”
A cherished friend added, “Facebook is a place to put family milestones or vacations.”
We don’t have family gatherings, not like other families.
The tremendous pain of being left out and told to stay away has been in my life with a few exceptions. Facebook is my connection to the outside world. No friends in the state, no one to call and talk to especially after Mom died. TV and Radio are my constant companions.
My husband bought me an iPad to be able to connect on Facebook. God uses Facebook to connect me to people who rejoiced with me as God heals my body and I start running.
Years later, my life focuses on running with Jesus. I celebrate every milestones and encourage others to do more. Every mile I run takes me further away from the cane and wheelchair that were calling.
Running has been a desire since high school, but scoliosis took the ability until God brought healing to my body.
Today I am 61 and happier than anytime in my life save meeting my husband and daughter and people notice the work of God in me. A neighbor I see once a year says, “It is like you are in a cocoon and come out different every year!”
I am Thankful my friend list is growing and I have a friend who welcomes a phone call.
A few weeks ago I watched myself having a normal conversation: asking questions, listening, and adding things that connect to the conversation.
This was something I tried to do over and over without success. But God changes a person who asks for help; listen to His Voice, and act.
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
