A neighbor’s friends comes over to tell me, “She doesn’t feel comfortable with…”

My emotions flip into a tailspin. Writhing in pain from the thoughts attacking my mind,    “I’m going to loose all my neighborhood friends!”

My reaction is way out of proportion to the situation!

 “God, show me where this is coming from!”

HE pulls up this memory.

The summer of 1983, I find friends in a college group of the church I attend.  One weekend, the college group drives to Canada for a camping trip: the women drive automobiles, the men are on motorcycles.

During this trip I am included and accepted. The trip is full of fun and joy! We decide to tour the park on bikes.

CRASH!

The motorcycle slides under a station wagon. A body collides with the front end before landing in the field.

The accident itself is not the cause of the trouble.

The fact my father hires a lawyer to sue for the insurance money is.

The youth pastor teaches, “We don’t believe in insurance.“

I am called into his office. Paralyzed with fear, I listen and leave.

My friends stay away like I am poisonous fruit.

The Head Pastor asks an inappropriate question in the middle of a crowd, and promptly tells me, “I am not able to marry you.”

I ride my bicycle back to the dorm in tears, alone!

I push forward focusing on my senior classes, the wedding, and the surgery to return my insides to their proper place.

Not dealing with the pain, leaves an open wound waiting to to bleed over anyone around.

I have not had many friends anytime in my life.

But God is changing things, I am building friendships!

I realize now, the fear of possibly loosing my new friends has kept me bound, not able to do my normal joyful tasks.

God knew it is time to heal the the open wound. He allowed me to feel the pain as he ripped off the bandage filled with lies, allowing the wound to heal.

This plant started itself and continued growing all summer. I watched as it covered the sidewalk, and I felt helpless to change it.

 Today, I notice a FREEDOM in my soul!

I dispose of the plant blocking entrance to my home.

GOD IS GOOD!