I might be taking a few days off to copy all my stories onto my computer. I was notified that they are switching companies so my 437 stories need to be put somewhere to be kept safely.
Maybe I will change up my blog at the same time.
God Bless you all!
Today, my body acts like someone tied my knees together when I try to walk.
Yesterday, my body was constricted as if I wore brace from 7th grade. Leaning forward was prohibited, but walking was possible, but not today!
Thankfully it doesn’t hurt, it mostly needs rest.
The day started with a women arriving today to sign papers. I told her about healing and speaking life out loud! Giving her the scripture from 1 Peter 2:24 but I said, 2:28 which there is no 28th verse.
Someday I will find a way to have the correct number. In case you want to know why I give it out.
God Is Good!
Emotional healing from God shows me, we who are broken explain. In the depth of brokenness I have no concept, but with healing I hear and understand.
Only in Jesus will I be able to change.
The need to be KNOWN is universal.
In a story about a women who crossed snowy mountains to freedom, I heard her fear of dying alone without being known.
I remember wondering, “If I am hit walking home, will anyone care?”
It is a lie from the depths of hell. My mom fought to find us with everything she had.
The more I receive the LOVE of God, I am KNOWN!
I change by filling my mouth with Truth of Scripture especially the Truth of who I am in Jesus.
THE BIBLE IS TRUE!
GOD IS GOOD!
I AM LOVED BY GOD!
Bringing us to the farm she grew up on, Mom gives my grandparents charge as she finds a job. They are at a loss how to care for us. We laugh while being spanked and cry hysterically when bumping against something. Soon they decide boundaries are necessary.
In school a cute boy teases me pretending to kiss me. I scratch him. Mom finds out and says, “I will cut your nails if you don’t stop.”
We leave the safe place the beginning of 4th grade and move to a basement apartment in town. This gives us access to children to play with and not much supervision. I find a boy to invite into the storage closet and teach him how to kiss. I am nine years old doing what I was taught.
I keep my distance from boys until high school when one of my brothers friends takes me out.
He puts his hands where he wants and then talks about me, “She is easy!”
I don’t know I have the option to say, “NO!”
Once time I play strip poker. It ends up in sexual foreplay.
This is my first,”No.”
I get hired to work at Hardee’s for the opening in our town.
There just happened to be one of those boys that asks, “Are you a virgin?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can check and tell you!”
I keep away from him.
My senior year I have a boyfriend a few years older. I trust him.
He asks, “Will you allow me to kiss you?”
I don’t know how to have a boyfriend.
Mom writes me a letter, “I expect you to bring him by the family. Hiding means sex.”
I did start bringing him home. He even came to Sunday dinner with my grandparents.
My first dad brought the people into my life that taught me how to please a man when I am seven years old. He also takes me out of the stable family life I know and thrive in. He turns my life into the things made from nightmares.
God let me know He is with me in the dark days, bringing light to the darkness always. He has given me strength to go through! Now He is giving me the ability to enjoy life, not just survive! He is my Abba Daddy!
GOD IS SO VERY GOOD!
Both dads went to church.
Dad #1 grew up with an alcoholic father and a praying mom. He ran from consequences.
Dad #1 said, “My dad told me to sit at Mom’s feet as she reads her Bible, but she never told me about Jesus.”
His first wife said, “He always made friends with pastors at church.”
Dad #2 was insecure from being called out different in grade school. He coped by believing he could create perfection in his life with no failure.
He attended church, joined the choir, and committees. They distract but don’t bring healing to the soul.
When something interrupted perfection, his voice boomed, “YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO RESPECT ME!”
Dad #1 quit running and has stayed married to the same woman for over 20 year.
Dad #2 stopped yelling and controlling people. He became tender and asked to be forgiven for raising his voice.
God is Good!
My first dad’s mistakes cause pain leading to trauma. His bad label holds no good. My second dad rescues my mom and brings order. His good label contains no bad.
Some actions of my second dad are not so good and my conscience can’t accept this. My dreams try to work on this and reoccur every visit.
I attribute all bad dreams to my first dad, but God sets me straight. The first dream I am seven, hiding to protect myself. My brave 19 year old self works in the second dream to protect my family.
My mom tells me every visit, “You were always Daddy’s little girl.”
God uses the dreams and my mom’s words to help me understand.
My first dad is fun and joyful until lies catch up to him. He chooses to follow the lies instead of The Grace and Truth of Jesus, leading to my pain.
My second dad doesn’t know The Grace and Truth until he is 89 so he lives with standards. When he meets Jesus he becomes loving.
My husband and I went to the, “The Sound of Freedom!”
It was the type of movie to watch without the distraction of popcorn. I don’t think anyone left to go to the bathroom even though many had the desire.
Tears flowed many times but when I made it to the bathroom, sobs of tears escaped like a dam braking. What do I do except make conversation as I wash my hands and grab the paper towel.
This Blessed woman listened and hugged me as I told her how my mom saved me. Then God Redeemed me bring healing.
I listen to Angel studio talk with the director and actor about the success at the box office, being #1 on the 4th! “We want more! We need to keep this movie in theaters so tell people about i!”
They said, “Many theaters broke out in applause twice. Once at the end of the movie and then again
after listening to Jim Caviezel talk!”
If you need they have free tickets paid forward by people who think it is important to be seen. They don’t want lack of money to be a reason keep people away. Look up Angel Studios.
God Bless everyone who goes and tells others to go!
GOD IS GOOD!
It has been a while since I have cleaned much of it. Things keep happening.
Looking at the basement stairs, muddy footprints remind of the water pouring in our basement.
Under the stairs, feathers and toys gather dust reminding me of our daughter’s cats who have moved out.
Upstairs, the warmth of summer compels our dogs to shed. Their hair combines with dirt tracked in from my shoes when I garden.
I add to the mess with piles. A learned action from having scoliosis.
We have too much stuff, and no place to put it: feeling stuck.
I was awake and busy for a whole 23 hours. The last 8 hours was spent cleaning, putting things away, boxing stuff, sweeping, moping, and vacuuming. Fitbit tracked 8000 steps from midnight to noon.
This all goes against what my doctor says, “You are NOT SUPPOSE TO help your daughter move or work in your garden! YOU HAVE SCOLIOSIS!”
God is Good! Smile!
She answers my question and turns back to the line. When I ask what movie she is there to see, she asks about the movie I am seeing.
It took me a bit to describe The Sound of Freedom I started to think about the man who saved the kids and how he started, mistakenly I said the DEA instead Homeland Security.
My next thought was, “How horrible situation is at the southern border with all the small unaccompanied young children! Who sends a three or ten year old on that trip?”
I keep my mouth shut because of politics, but when the movie starts I started crying and am convicted of not opening my mouth.
God is Good! Man is not!
We pick up our daughter, check out the improvements to her house, pet the cats, and leave.
We arrive, order, and are having a wonderful time when a couple walks into the restaurant and sits down.
I’m trying not to stare. 
Do we know each other? Finally recognition!
I get up to get a hug. It has been many years and much life has happened.
What is the chance that we happen to be at the same restaurant at the same time sitting so we can see each other?
In case you notice in the picture, they received food while I got my hug. I sat down to and empty plate. My order was forgotten. It’s my birthday!
God Is So Very Good!
