Have you ever wondered why you do the things you do?

One day I  asked  my dad, “Why do you act the way you do?” and got in big trouble. It is probably something to ask yourself not others.

I grew up being  criticized and turned into a  person pointing out everything not done perfectly. The pain it caused others made me want to change but no matter how hard I tried I could not start out positive. If I opened my mouth it had to state the problem before I could get around to the good stuff.

God wants us to cover mistakes not expose them, so I have tried  so hard to change, but can’t. It probably has something to do with self protection, if I hurt you before you hurt me all will be good.

When I was about 50 I started a counseling program but my mind had everything locked up believing it was too difficult to face what happened so I was sent to a specialty counselor. I talk about it in the story, “The Picture that Ruled My Life.”

Self protection had its place getting me  through a very hard season of my life.  When I didn’t have a place to deal with what happened  it took on a life of its own and Kept me from my LIFE.

God helped me to TRUST HIM!

The more I could trust God  I didn’t need to self protect. God turned my fear into a strength and confidence to go to places I have always wanted to go but couldn’t. I finally was able to go to the Joyce Meyer Women’s Conference meeting my cousin who I had not seen since I was 7. A desire I had for over ten years.

With success I signed up and, drove to Kentucky to volunteer at a Joyce Meyer Conference. I was able to do the whole experience such as checking into the motel, ordering food, eating alone, and finding where I go to do my volunteering. All the tings I could not do when my self protection kept me hiding at home afraid of the world.

I have been growing and changing the last 10 years and life is very different and Good! I could not have written this blog without facing and healing from everything my seven year old self was protecting me from. I will also say that at age 59 I was able for the first time compliment my daughter on what she did and not offer one comment about what was left undone. God is so very Good!

LIFE IS GOOD! LEARN TO ENJOY IT!

LOVE AND TRUST THE GOD WHO CREATED YOU AND WANTS TO HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEARTS. AMEN!